


A couple's guide to 'How to deal with your nightmares 101'

by MystiePie



Series: Star-crossed Lovers [5]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), Blindfolds, Breaking the Fourth Wall, But also not lol, Chapter 1 is T rated, Chapter 2 is too but there's minimal suggestive stuff, Chapter 3 is M rated, Chapter 4 is E rated, Child Neglect, Detective Akechi Goro, Dreams and Nightmares, Edging? Maybe?, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fic-inside-a-fic, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kink Exploring, Kissing, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Meet-Cute, Orgasm Delay, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pillow Talk, Romance, Sensual Play, Shameless Smut, Storytelling, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Ideation if you squint, Swearing, Trust Kink, but also not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MystiePie/pseuds/MystiePie
Summary: It wasn't unusual for Goro- or his lover, for that matter- to wake up in the middle of the nightrepeatedlyand be haunted by the ghosts of the past. How do they usually calm down and spend the night when sleep is elusive?Dive in and find out ;)Part of a series, no prior knowledge required; check the author's note!
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Star-crossed Lovers [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042896
Comments: 12
Kudos: 36





	1. Part 1: Ignoring your nightmares and going to sleep is a no go. Talking is better- but don't overdo it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! First things first:
> 
> If you haven't read the series, ~~lmao I sound like a broken record~~ then...I don't think you actually need to know anything to enjoy this thing. There might be _a few_ lines you might not understand as they reference back to some happenings of the series- so in case you wanna read up starting from Unhinged, don't read this fic for spoiler's sake- but I don't think you need to...know anything else.  
> This fic isn't focused on real 'plot', lol- but if there is anything that massively disturbs you and you need context for, please tell me, and I shall add context in the author's note or reply to your comment ;)
> 
> Up ahead are rambles!
> 
> For all of you who know the series: hi, I'm back lmao. Before continuing the whole timetravel thing, I wanted to show you a glimpse into what life was like on Tokushima. I haven't written the entire fic out yet (UNUSUAL RIGHT I KNOOOOW) but this one will sort of...swing between the moods like: fluff, angst, and uh...possible smut? Not sure about the latter yet. Which is why the tag and the rating may change, as I adapt them to the latest chapter updated.
> 
> This fic will feature a bit of humor and crack, too (like not crack as in a crack fic but...uh, you'll see) because these boys, for all the seriousness they display-  
> They can be silly, too. And that's what this little thing here will be about!
> 
> I suppose this also won't be a long ass fic, but I plan to segment the thing into a few chapters for, uh, reasons I can't tell you because they spoiler what's coming up lmao. I'm at 8k now, so maybe we'll end up with...12k??? Maybe???  
> Have fun!

_“You are unwanted”_

_“You are unneeded”_

_“Do you really think you’re worth anything?”_

_“It’s a shame someone like you breathes the same air as we do”_

_“This isn’t enough for today’s workload. When are you going to catch up?”_

_“For the record, we have always been very kind and understanding, but even our patience has limits-“_

**_Shut up!_ **

****

With a gasp, Goro woke, surging upwards- just as an infinite amount of bloody hands reached out to drag him into the darkness.

His breathing was erratic. He couldn’t think straight, and the room, the room was spinning, there was nothing to cling onto, there was a darkness trying to swallow him, the same darkness as before, the same hands were lurking in the shadows, he needed to breathe, he needed a sword to cut them all down, he needed a gun-

He yelped when soft, warm lightning flooded the room. The small lamp on the nightstand was something he’d picked out himself when they'd gone shopping one day- right. They.

The two of them.

The ability to breathe came back to him.

The lurking hands evaporated, the room stopped, its axis back in place, the same moment as gentle, cautious hands wrapped around his waist.

When he didn’t react- didn’t swat the intruding hands away- a head propped up onto his shoulder, kissing his neck gently. It was nothing but a fluttering, airy touch- missable as soon as you blinked, but he knew, he felt it nevertheless.

His breathing was still erratic- he was grasping for air like a dying man.

But slowly, through a few kisses spread on his neck, the warmth of a body enveloping him from behind, the grip around his waist tightening ever so gently- he begun to calm down.

His cheeks felt wet.

_Fuck, really? Pathetic._

He sniffled, rose a hand to wipe the incriminating evidence away- but he was halted in his movements as someone else begun to stroke over the path of his wet tears, the soft, calloused thumb spreading warmth and love into his skin.

Ren kissed his earlobe, and whispered, “Hey, honey.”

Goro would have snorted if the sounds and feelings of those gruesome voices and their sickly painted hands weren’t still clinging onto him and making him shudder.

Ren didn’t ask anything, didn’t question what might have woken him.

He knew, anyway.

So he merely begun to reach for some tissues on the nightstand. It was fairly difficult, because he refused to let one of his arms leave Goro’s waist- and the brunet didn’t have it in him to swat him away, or tell the raven to let go.

_Nothing else feels quite as soothing, after all._

After raking and stretching himself like a dissipating pretzel, Ren finally got a grasp on the package. His efforts, however, were sort of useless by now, as Goro had already dried his cheeks and refused to dap over once more.

It didn’t matter. Ren took it upon himself to check one final time, before he seemed satisfied and nuzzled their cheeks together and drew the brunet into another hug, slowly dragging him back onto the bedsheets.

“You good?”

_No._

“Yes.”

The raven chuckled. “That tone usually means no in Goro-language.”

The brunet didn’t have it in him to protest, merely settling into the hug Ren drew him into as he buried his face in the crook of his lover’s neck- and breathed.

Just…breathed.

For a long, long time.

What had Ren advised him to do, back in the day? Focus on something, someone else?

_Hey, it’s there- the smell of coffee you brew me yesterday. And my shampoo- the one you label ‘way too expensive’ but use it nevertheless._

_And…did you mess with the herbs on the balcony again? There’s the smell of mint lingering on you._

_No, no- the hands- there are hands reaching for you, tainted, bloody, muddy hands- get away from the balcony, Ren, can you hear me? Turn around- run, Ren- no-_

_No, no! Don’t you dare- don’t you dare touch him!_

**_No!_ **

A hand begun to stroke through his hair. “It’s okay, love. They were just bad dreams- a nightmare. Fragments of the past that don’t…matter anymore.”

Goro was shaking, and he gritted his teeth- he didn’t like to bite his lip anymore and making it bleed, because of the miserable look it drew onto Ren’s face- but grinding his teeth like that wasn’t healthy, either, but-

He couldn’t- he couldn’t stop right now- he needed an outlet- his feelings, they were exploding- the dreams he was supposed to leave behind bled into reality-

Reaching for both of them.

 _Fragments of the past,_ he repeated internally, _they don’t matter, Goro, they don’t matter-_

_I know they don’t matter!_

_I wouldn’t hesitate to kill all those people on the spot if I ever saw them again._

_I hate every single one of those miscreants for spewing all that nonsensical bullshit-_

No words escaped him, though.

Ren drew his lover even closer, scratching his head as a new batch of tears begun to stream down his face, whimpers and gasps escaping him.

“That bad, huh?”

_No!_

Goro wanted to scream, to yell at his lover for thinking he’d be shaken by such insignificant memories, but-

He didn’t know why the only sounds he was able to procure were gasps and wheezes, soft sobs and cries he drowned out against Ren’s shoulder, wetting the fabric throughoutly.

“It’s over, you know? And it will never happen again, whatever it was.”

Silent tears stained his cheeks.

“But if I ever found out the names or, sheesh, these people crossed my path-“

Ren’s hand buried itself deep into his hair, and he pressed a kiss against the brunet’s temple.

“Well, I sure hope a simple visit at the precinct and a charge for verbal assault would be all I’d face.”

_As if I’d let you set foot into a place that could still be tainted with the same injustice you faced before._

“I want to sleep,” Goro murmured instead, and his lover complied without a fuss.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he chuckled, kissing the top of his head. “Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?”

He might have been weak, but not all _that_ weak- the raven earned himself a light kick against his shin, and melodious laughter echoed through the room as Ren turned the lights off once more.

_This sound is better than any lullaby, anyway._

“Message has been received, loud and clear. We’ll talk about it later, then. Sleep well, my love.”

_You and your damn insufferable pet names, really._

He sighed, and in his lover’s embrace, let his consciousness fade once more.

***

He woke up with a scream, not even an hour later.

While the embrace had been soothing before, it felt nothing but suffocating now. “Get-“

He hadn’t even been able to finish the words as Ren released his grip and darted away, hitting his head against some part of the bed and suppressing a painful yowl.

By the time the soft night lamp flickered on again, he’d already sat up once more, slinging his arms around himself in an attempt to let the memory fade, rocking back and forth, back and forth, _back and forth…_

“Goro…”

He let out an ugly sound.

“May I?”

The brunet threw himself at Ren.

_I know what you’re thinking._

_I know you always tell me it’s better for me to talk about it the first time around than let the ugly feelings and memories fester in my heart like this and conjure up a rematch._

_I know, I know, I know!_

Ren stroked his head as Goro wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

A whimper fell forth his lips.

“It’s okay,” the raven murmured sleepily, tired as he was, “it’s fine. This one was just a bad memory, too. And it’s over now. It’s all over now. We’re…good, now. Together, here, in our bed, our room, our house- nothing can reach us here, or hurt us. You know that, right? You do. I know you do.”

A few trembles shook the brunet’s body still, even as Ren cautiously wrapped his arms around the brunet now as well, kissing him over and over, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear.

“It’s okay, Goro.”

He sniffled.

“Hey, I just realized- we might have been forcibly torn apart from our family and shipped off to this island here, but still, this whole situation…it’s as if we eloped, huh? Despite the fact that everyone was against us- or letting us stay together, while we’re at it- we still made it. That’s pretty cool, right?”

_Why do you always try so hard to make me laugh, you idiot?_

_Right. Deflection, was it? You’re- doing that stupid thing you read about in a book._

_You’re so stupid. Stupid, stupid you-_

_Stupid._

_I love you._

Something weak escaped the brunet’s throat, something that wasn’t quite a whine or a gasp, but could not be called laughter yet- it satisfied the raven, however, as he hummed into the brunet’s hair.

“Wait, what did I talk about before? Oh, it doesn’t matter. Hey, I remember…I offered to sing you a lullaby, right? Isn’t that a great idea? Won’t you let me sing?”

A weak chuckle escaped him, and Goro felt calmer again.

_Your stupid, stupid, antics-_

_You permanent good-doer._

_You idiot._

_My idiot, right?_

His hands reached upwards, tilting the raven’s head towards himself and drawing the two of them into a kiss- a soft and chaste one, one that made the residing queasy feeling in his stomach disappear.

_What did you say, once, when I asked you what it felt like be kissed by me?_

_Like, ‘butterflies flying in my stomach’, was it?_

_I suppose it’s time to revive some of them again._

They continued for a while like that- Ren conjuring up more and more ridiculous jokes in between kisses, with the brunet helpless towards his antics. Soon, they were spooning again, nestling themselves into the sheets, yet never leaving each other’s gazes, with more soft kisses exchanged under the blanket.

When Goro sighed, and slowly shook his head, Ren understood.

With a gentle smile, his tone changed- it wasn’t all that cautious now, as he knew Goro didn’t like to be treated as if made of glass- no, the tone was gentle and beckoning, yet there was worry laced alongside.

“What…were they about this time?”

The brunet exhaled- and took a good, deep breath of Ren’s clothes and his tranquilizing smell.

“First, or second dream?”

“Depends,” his lover chuckled, “which one would you like me to know about first?”

“The one that I understood less,” Goro grumbled, eliciting yet another weak laugh from the raven, and Ren nuzzled their noses together.

“Don’t look so grumpy now, Goro. We promised to work through the mess in our heads and hearts together, right?”

“Hm,” he muttered, “we might have, that’s true…”

They shared one last kiss, and Goro quietly begun to talk.

“The first dream- or dreams, whatever- isn’t all that new. I was just- stuck in one of those days…with all those different families. No one wanted me- no one paid attention to me, or let me feel welcome. In fact, if I fooled myself and thought well of anyone, trusting them- it’d only come to backstab me later.”

“Why?” Ren interlocked their hands, pressing a kiss onto Goro’s lips as he knocked their foreheads together, letting both of them indulge in the other’s presence.

Goro breathed.

“Well, all that kindness… was nothing more than a mere trap. Kids my age, for example- they gave me toys, and then accused me of stealing later. Adults allowed me to take as much as I wanted from the food, and chastised me in front of guests for being so bold and stealing food before anyone else even dared to. Stuff like that.”

Ren’s grip momentarily tightened, and he felt the anger bubble up in his lover’s eyes.

_You love me too much, Ren._

_I would say ‘I don’t deserve as much love from you’ but I know how angry it’d make you._

“…Was there…more? Of those dreams, I mean…”

“Well, I also overheard- or lived, rather- through some stuff I heard at work, like being absolutely useless and not fast enough. Told I was scum for occupying the place- you know the drill by now.”

Ren bit his lip, and the former detective saw a blaze in his eyes lighten up, yet there was a desperate attempt to hold the fury back-

_Right, because you always like to say, ‘Focus on the present, not on the past- deal with the current problem, not the one you can’t erase.’_

_I don’t know who the bigger dork here is- you, for saying such things, or me, for remembering them all._

Goro kissed his idiot, and saw the fire in his eyes glimmer down a notch.

Only a notch, though.

“There’s…still more, right? What was the last of it?”

“…Wasting the air, sullying and using it up-“

A growl escaped the raven’s throat, and not even Goro would be able to extinguish the anger now- not like he necessarily wanted to, though.

_It’s wicked and wrong, but every time I see you lose control because of me- because you care for me- it gets to me, Ren._

_It’s both a pleasant sight as it is painful._

“Those _bastards_ ,” the raven spat, “weren’t worth _shit,_ you know? Whether it was childish cruelty, the cruelty of adults and their warped sense of humor, or your shitty, fucking cock-ass coworkers-“

“I’m afraid that’s not a real word, Ren,” Goro chuckled, and the light of the lamp flickered eerily in response, as if afraid the raven’s anger would distinguish it with mere willpower.

“I know,” his boyfriend pressed out, “it’s just…I want to punch them. All of them. Or stick them into jail, actually.”

Giggles spilled forth him as Goro pressed another chaste kiss to his lover’s lips.

“I’m well aware.”

The raven’s eyes fluttered shut, an attempt to regain control. “There’s so much more, you know? I could find insults all day, spit them out endlessly, but-“

“I know. You won’t because I asked you not to dwell too much, Ren.”

His lover’s eyelids fluttered open again, and there was a yearning in his eyes that stole Goro’s breath away.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“So do you want to do the part you hate most now, or spill the contents of the second dream before we do that?”

The brunet let out a sigh. “Urgh, I know you’re going to dissect _that_ one much more than these fickle memories.”

“They’re not _fickle,”_ Ren’s voice rose in protest, and Goro immediately silenced him with another kiss, smiling.

“I know. Sorry.” He closed his eyes.

“I don’t know why I cried about this. About _them._ I don’t know, and frankly, no matter what you may think- I’ve never, and I will never like them, or care for them, or wish to evoke pity in them. Never. All I want is- to see them suffer. Or nothing, actually- at this point, I feel nothing more than apathy for those people, seeing as my life is much better now, but…”

Ren drew him closer again, and Goro nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck once more.

_I never knew how soothing skin-on-skin contact could be before I met you._

“I don’t understand the tears. I never will.”

“I doubt that you give a shit about them, either, Goro. And I know you’re strong and not vulnerable at all, but…”

Goro sighed. _I know what’s coming up next._

“Humans are very complex beings, you see. Sometimes, we feel nothing for someone- and we truly don’t. They can hurl words at us, insult us- and we won’t care, let the worlds drip off of an invisible wall set between us. But…”

_Oh wait, this is new._

_This isn’t the usual ‘Maybe you do care, and you don’t want to admit?’_

“That doesn’t mean…that it hurt any less. That doesn’t mean that the onslaught, and the pain these attacks, these words wrote into our hearts, tried to ingrain into our very being- that it wouldn’t affect us at all. This isn’t a failure of competency or actually feeling _something-_ I think it’s just…”

“It’s just?”

Ren chuckled. “Something that makes us human. Would we truly be able to go by unaffected by each and every action we told ourselves not to care about, maybe…it’d do us better in the long run, but it could also erase our very soul. After all, what are we humans, besides flesh and bones? There’s a soul residing in us, right? And while we convince ourselves and our emotions to feel nothing but apathy for someone, our soul doesn’t quite listen. It’s…sort of rebellious.”

“That’s…uhm, okay. Meta? Is that the word?” Goro frowned.

A laugh reverberated through the air. “Hey, I wasn’t finished yet! I mean- look. Imagine you’re a skilled swordsman.”

“Okay?”

_Your comparisons are always amusing._

“A really incompetent guy tries to attack you with a stick or something- you either cut him down, or you gallantly evade them and go on. That’s us when we say ‘I feel nothing for this person, and I don’t care for it, either’.”

Another chuckle escaped the brunet, and he smiled.

_You and your elaborate ideas, Ren._

“Okay. What about it, then?”

“Well, see. The fact that this person _attacked_ you- as weak and dumb as he was- won’t ever be erased from a certain part of your brain- or rather, your soul. Our brain always files and sorts memories away- looks out for what we should constantly remember and what can be tugged away in a far corner of our mind. But you know what we’re missing?”

Amused, Goro asked, “What?”

“A trash bin!”

An ugly snort broke free the brunet’s throat. “You don’t- are you serious?”

His lover drew back, nodding fervently. “Yes! Or maybe…it’s more accurate to put it like this: we have different sections in our brains, as I said before- stuff like ‘remember all times’ ‘occasionally remember’ ‘maaaaaybe remember if the time calls for it’ and ‘Trash’.”

“But-“

“Yes, it’s not actually a trash bin. We label- or rather, our brain labels things as trash and deems the information, the encounter- the whatever-it-was- as insignificant and to be discarded forever.”

Even in the bad, milky lightning, Ren’s eyes were shining with a glimmering vigor. “But in truth, we don’t have a trash bin. You see, all these many folders we have- they all end up in the same thing, or rather, are all connected to one place. Not the heart- the soul!”

_Why is his smile so adorable?_

“So we trick ourselves and think we forget things- and our human brain might, I’m not denying that. It isn’t capable of storing all these informations, really.”

_Aw come on, it’s a crime not to kiss his pretty mouth just about now._

So Goro did, and only then allowed his lover to talk on, and with each and every word that spilled forth his lips, he eased the vice claw the memories had around the brunet’s heart more and more.

“But our soul- something that we ourselves have no direct control over- it remembers. It knows all, but it doesn’t- it doesn’t _divulge_ it all. Or else, we’d go crazy- imagine what it’d be like, to remember everything. Madness, pure madness- that’s what it’d be!”

Ren lifted the brunet’s hand up, pressing his lips to it.

“And I think- while we ourselves shape and choose our own personality and our traits, our soul mixes in somewhere, too. Like, can you really reflect back on your entire life and claim ‘I never did anything unusual’? As in, irrational! Imagine you’ve always been scared of ghosts, but on a strange whim, decide to visit the haunted house.”

“Maybe I just felt like it?”

_Gosh, what was I suffering under again?_

_Hearing him talk and theorize in the middle of the night is something I’ll never grow tired of._

“Maybe! Maybe. But some things, some of our actions- don’t they remain a mystery to you? Just like the tears you just shed- that wasn’t you. You’d never want to cry over these things. It was your soul- it remembers the pain, the hurt from being discarded and abandoned like that.”

Normally, Goro would have flinched at those words- but seeing the childish glitter in his lover’s eyes, the suppressed excitement in his voice, the sparkles in his words-

Well, it was hard not to marvel at the sight, and so he ignored the sting caused by harsh words- a sting whose source he couldn’t explain.

He himself was the one who’d told Ren not to sugar his words, so he didn’t really care about feeling a sting, anyway- the raven would make up for it later.

“Your soul is somewhat different from yourself- you have no real control over it. And sometimes, in times like these- where you think you’re fine, all is good, life is nice- boom! Your soul makes you forcibly remember and feel things you’d never want to. Makes you cry.”

“Alright?”

“Doesn’t it make so much sense, Goro?!”

He laughed- it was a nice one, free of restraints or pain. The lingering memories and the fear had all been erased. When he stopped giggling, he granted Ren another kiss, and let the touch linger before drawing back.

“Maybe. But you lack an explanation of why your ‘soul’ does these things in the first place.” There was mirth in his eyes, and it grew upon seeing his boyfriend fall into a frown.

“Gee, stinky. You could just say ‘Oh yes, Ren, it makes so much sense! Now I understand why I feel sad, and that I have no control over it.’ That’d be cool. Not make me- make me think of…even more things. I don’t know why the soul does what it does, okay? I only focused on explaining why some things might happen.”

“Ha!” Goro’s laughter this time was more of a bark. “You don’t truly believe I’d ever accept something so quickly, do you? Without questioning and assessing it to the very last?”

“Well, I guess if you did…you wouldn’t be you anymore.” Ren grinned, before letting their lips meet in a soft, gentle kiss, licking over Goro’s lips innocently.

Goro had expected him to go further, but Ren drew back again, a smile on his lips.

“This was just my hot take on why you behave the way you do sometimes- or rather, why we behave irrationally in our own eyes, remember things we don’t want to. And…”

Ren’s eyes glittered as he stroked over Goro’s lips, wanting to memorize the feeling forever, “In a way, that makes you really sexy, you know? Because you’ve given in to anger and emotions you never really understood- meaning, you showed your very soul to the world, and made yourself swing alongside its vibrations and tremor. That’s…well, both scary and absolutely fascinating, don’t you think?”

“You really think my mental breakdowns were such a beautiful thing to reflect back on?”

Ren winced, and regret and sadness flashed over his face- Goro regretted his words almost immediately. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. Urgh.”

The brunet groaned, flipping around, and nuzzled into the soft hug offered from behind.

“I guess I’m really sexy and cool and brave, and that’s the reason you fell for me- because you were mesmerized by the fact that I wore my heart, no, my very _soul_ upon my sleeve, didn’t you?”

Soft laughter echoed through their bedroom, and Ren kissed the back of his neck. “You know, I like your ferocious side, but this is pretty nice to hear from time to time, too. Appreciate yourself like this- always, babe.”

_You’re steering into sap mode, Ren._

Soon, Goro’s own laughter joined his lover’s, and he felt himself relax. The worries, erased from his mind, were only gone because of Ren’s continuous efforts.

He just had to get through one more nasty talk about feelings before he could finally focus back on the pleasant side of life.

Which resolved around Ren, mostly.

_I mean I always try to find other nice things in life, like you advise me to, but, uhm…_

_I think it’s very difficult to find anything in life that pleases me as much as you do._

_And the only other people who I feel some sort of attachment to are currently in some other part of the country, so…_

_I guess you’ll have to live with my hyper-fixation on you for a bit longer._

Goro raised one of Ren’s hands towards his mouth, showering it in kisses- the raven shuddered, pleased.

_You don’t seem to mind my hyper-fixation, though._

“Okay, so…after my unnecessary lengthy explanation about the human soul and body and whatnot…what was the second dream about?”

“That…” Goro’s voice dropped.

_Urgh, just when I was starting to feel good again. Well, it’s not your fault that…certain things get to me, no matter how much you shower me in praise and love._

He forcibly swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I just…I remembered…some things of the past.”

Ren reached for one of his hands once more, and Goro lifted them up, pressing his cheeks against their intertwined hands.

“Like, that on days like ‘Meet the parents’ or festivals and events held at school…I never had anyone. I…”

Ren whimpered, pressed a kiss to their hands and the brunet’s neck.

Goro took another deep breath.

_I promised. I promised to tell him, and I want to tell him, anyway._

“I was jealous, of all those kids with loving parents and siblings- I wanted that, too. Because…even if, and this didn’t happen often, trust me- I ended up at the same school as the children of the family that took me in- they still never…paid attention to me. Actually, whenever it was possible, those people made it clear I was just the ‘adopted’ one- a fake one they didn’t…ever actively chose, but felt sorry for.”

He felt an old, bitter feeling rise in his chest.

“I hated it. I hated it, and I wanted- so much more than what they gave me- I wanted…I wanted the same attention and love, and- and I was so desperate, I wouldn’t have minded sharing, but- no. No, it was always only ‘Goro, the outsider’ or ‘Goro, the outcast’ maybe- and I-“

A low growl escaped his throat, and it seemed like he was just about to break, when Ren flipped him onto his back and drew him into a kiss.

“Sorry,” Ren rasped, “sorry. I should have noticed- that I’ve already made you talk so much, and-“

_You’re thinking I strained myself too much already, right?_

“Idiot,” Goro giggled, slightly concerned about his boyfriend’s worry in turn, “I wouldn’t- force myself too much, you know? I’d stop if I really didn’t want to talk about it at all.”

Ren knew the raw pain in his chest, the longing for his family, his mother- and it reflected in his eyes, the pain Goro felt deep down inside his heart- so his boyfriend must have been afraid to have prodded into one too many territories today, and accidentally make the nightmares worse.

Because yes, that had happened, too, from time to time- yet at the end of the day, or rather, the night, Goro still never blamed Ren for making him face even uglier memories.

How else would he heal, if not for a few wounds to open and bleed here and there- by accident, of course?

And besides- seeing the way Ren licked his wounds afterwards, tried to make him feel good and happy again- that always made all the accidental trips and falls worth it.

_See, if we go by his little theory of a soul…maybe he’s scared that it will wreak havoc inside me tonight once more, and blame himself for provoking it into doing so._

_Which he obviously didn’t, but well…that’s just how he thinks, I suppose._

Gently, he cupped his lover’s cheeks, an idea occurring to him as their lips met in a soft kiss.

“Hey, Ren?”

“Yeah?”

_I need to erase any and all concerns of him before we go to sleep again._

_Good thing we’re both off tomorrow. Maybe I can make him feel good again before we finally tune in, so that he has no lingering thoughts or fears._

_We’ll see._

“How about…we watch something stupid? I don’t feel like sleeping quite yet, but there isn’t much we can do right now.”

“Oh.” Ren blinked, a sleepy smile on his lips. “Okay. Sure. Sorry, after all the-“

“Don’t apologize, idiot.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

Goro rolled his eyes. “You’re doing it _again._ ”

Ren laughed, more carefree now, and sadly had to let go of Goro to go and search for the stack of DVD’s in the corner of the room.

Back when they moved in, they had quickly realized it’d prove useful to position the TV and the bed in a way that you’d always have the perfect view on the TV even if you were busy cuddling in bed.

The only downside was, that, because Ren refused to let go of DVD’s, someone would always have to get up and throw one of the DVD’s into the damn recorder before they could really enjoy the night, less they accidentally wanted to switch through a dozen animal documentations, porn, news, more animal documentations or worse- animal sex.

Because frankly, the program at 3am in the morning was just terrible.

“What do you wanna watch, Goro?”

“I don’t really care, but something…I can make fun of.”

“So a rom-com?”

“Maybe?”

Ren laughed, “You know that’s a definite yes!”

_That doesn’t mean I’ll outrightly say it._

Goro prepared the cushions in the most comfortable way to lean back into while they were snuggling- after many such nights, he’d finally found the secret, perfect formula.

But the most important ingredient in this formula was his damn boyfriend getting back into bed already, or he’d freeze to death.

Finally, fucking finally, after what felt like eons, the bed creaked once more as Ren crawled back to where Goro was waiting for him, and the brunet greedily snatched his arm, wrapping his own arms around it possessively, and letting his head fall onto the raven’s shoulder.

Ren chuckled, used to his boyfriend’s antics, and covered them with the blanket as best as he could, with one of his arms permanently occupied now.

Satisfied, the raven picked the remote on the nightstand up, and let the movie play.

_Urgh, ‘Love Cupid’?_

“This movie is trash and I can already tell as much without even having seen a minute of it,” he grumbled, but leaned into Ren’s warmth a little more. His lover only laughed, telling him to ‘wait and see’.

_Fine, I will._

And so, the movie began to play…


	2. Step 2 on how to battle the nightmares away: participate in silly challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! We're delving into a little crack and fluff territory here, and things get a little suggestive at the end- and I hope it's okay that I kept this fic T rated (I specifically turned the spice down a little lmao xD). If you think the rating does not apply anymore, please tell me and I'll adapt the rating! It might be possible that the rating changes, as I said, but you'll know in time, and if anything- it will be the last chapter, and the 'plot' will be over by then.
> 
> Hope you have fun!
> 
> * * *

“You fucking kidding me? They got shot with some sort of ‘love-induced’ arrow and just- fell in love with the first person they saw?”

Ren’s laugh was boisterous. “Hey, it’s romantic and cute!”

“Romantic? To be forced to witness and feel some sort of- of attraction you don’t even actually feel in truth? Bullshit, I tell you.” Goro made sure to squeeze every bit of venom he had left into his words.

“No, no! Look, at the end of the movie-“

“Oh, ew, don’t tell me all over again how the effect was actually fake and the movie had some sort of message that went ‘Your soul knew of whom to fall in love with, and you always chose at your own will’.”

“But that’s what it’s all about! True love! And love at first sight!” Laughter filled the air as the brunet sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Really? Wow. I didn’t think movies could get away with producing trash like this.”

“Hey, come on, it’s not that bad!”

“Is it?” Goro nearly yawned, too bored to be bothered about the movie and entertain the idea of making fun of it- it was just so bland. There was nothing to make fun of, as the mere existence of the movie already made fun of itself.

Urgh.

Ren picked up on his boyfriend’s mood quickly, and chewed his lip in thought. How could he make this more enjoyable to the brunet?

A crazy idea occurred to him.

_If the movie is boring to Goro…maybe Goro himself needs to invent it._

“Hey, let’s play a game, babe!” he excitedly exclaimed, anticipation rising in his gut as he looked at his boyfriend. The latter rose an eyebrow, eyeing him critically.

“Is this a challenge?”

“Yes!”

“Okay, then I accept.”

“Without knowing the rules?”

Both of them grinned as Goro explained, “Well, it’d be boring if I knew what I was getting into beforehand, wouldn’t it?”

“I’ll be so kind and explain the rules to you if you wish, my dear.”

Goro laughed. “Okay. Go on.” He pressed a short kiss to Ren’s lips, letting his head fall onto his shoulder once more.

_This is the most comfortable position I’ll ever find in life, I think._

“The movie is boring- so how about we think up our own story?”

“Our own?” The brunet furrowed his brows, unsure where this was leading to.

“Be a director! Tell a story!” If they hadn’t been cuddling on the bed, Goro was sure about the fact that Ren would be jumping up and down excitedly, letting his inner child run free. It was a rare occurrence to see the raven lose his cool and calm composure, but the brunet figured that this might have been an attempt at yet another diversion from his nightmares.

_Maybe he still feels bad about making me talk so much._

_Idiot…_

“You may think up the cast and its setting as you wish, but the important and most crucial rule is to actually include this being-shot-by-an-arrow-of-love thing from the movie- and uh, the focus would have to be on humans, not inanimate objects. Two humans, actually. The one who tells a more romantic story wins.”

Ren was beaming.

_Can you really say no to a smile full of such eagerness?_

_And such sparkling eyes?_

_I bet in the past, I wouldn’t have thought twice about shooting him down._

_But now?_

Goro rolled his eyes. “Okay. Let me entertain you.”

“You wanna go first?” Ren was glowing.

“If you let me…”

***

Goro was tired. So, so, tired.

***

“You’re using yourself?!” Ren actually sounded elated at the idea, and he was grinning goofily.

“Don’t interrupt! You’ll destroy the entire atmosphere.” A scowl fell onto the brunet’s face, and Ren apologized.

“Okay. I’ll try to keep my mouth shut until the end, but…”

“But?” Goro raised an eyebrow.

“Only if you manage to keep the thing ‘in character’!”

“In what now?” He was confused, having never heard something like that before.

“Uh, you know? True to us? Our personalities?”

_Did this just turn into a game of psychoanalyzing ourselves in the other’s eyes?_

_Oh, fuck, maybe this was a bad idea._

But it wasn’t like Goro could just butt out now- it’d seem weak, or rather, he’d admit defeat! He bit his lips, chewing it aggressively as he contemplated how to approach this over and over again-

“Hey, don’t be nervous! I was…making a joke, Goro. It’s only a story. Go wild. Or, actually…”

Ren wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, “Tell me your dirtiest fantasy, babe.”

The raven earned himself a swat, and his laughter echoed through the room as Goro begun to narrate a story anew…

***

The brunet was tired- he had a long, rough work day behind him, and he wanted nothing more than to fall into his bed and…dissipate into thin air.

But no, that was a luxury he couldn’t afford yet- he still needed to finish a few papers here and there, which no doubt would take a long time.

So instead of driving back into his apartment, he sought out a place that would fuel him with enough energy to work himself through another stack of papers.

Suddenly, he thought _Urgh, my head- it hurts. Something is…fuzzing inside my chest? Weird…_

He did not know he was struck by a bored cupid, randomly shooting and possibly injuring people with his love arrows- and now, Goro was doomed to fall in love at first sight as soon as his eyes settled onto someone.

Not that he knew that, however. The poor guy was doomed…

***

“Oh my gosh Goro is this going where I think it’s-“

“I said, don’t interrupt! You made me lose focus again!”

His boyfriend laughed, and made a motion as if zipping his mouth shut.

“Okay, so…”

***

There was a sign pointing to a dingy old café, and it’d be here he’d meet his demise.

***

“Uh, demise, babe? Isn’t that a bit dark-“

“Urgh, Ren!”

“Sorry! I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Ren was the only person on earth that could sound both serious as well as have a shit-eating grin on his face as he apologized.

Goro rolled his eyes once more, sighing.

_Will you keep quiet, though…?_

***

Surprised that the café was nearly empty as he entered, the brunet almost turned on his heel and left. But then he glimpsed upon a fluffy nest of hair peeking out from behind the counter, and he halted.

“Pardon the intrusion, but is this café…open?” he timidly asked, drawing closer- by an invisible power he had no control over.

Poor guy, really.

“Oh, of course- sorry, ah!”

The person crouching behind the counter leaped up, hitting his head somewhere and cursing lightly before finally raising to his full height-

And the sight, oh.

The sight.

Goro was sure he’d never felt like this before- like his breath had been stolen away, like someone had squeezed his heart, torn it apart and drained him of every last inch of his blood- he felt dizzy all of a sudden, and the world began to sparkle around him in a way it never had before, the dark, black and grey colors fading away into vibrant ones, and he knew in that moment: he wouldn’t be able to tear himself away from the mysterious barista anymore.

The effect of ‘Love at first sight’ was beginning to work…

The guy was actually rather plain-looking.

***

Goro was sure Ren would immediately protest and object to the way he was described as, but to his surprise, the raven remained quiet, a giddy excitement in his eyes as he motioned Goro to talk on.

_I’ll never admit how beautiful I imagined you as without even having glimpsed at you- your voice and your humor painted a vivid picture of you inside my head that immediately roped me in at our first meeting._

_Funny, really. Maybe this whole…seeking out your true love isn’t actually as much bullshit as I believe it to be._

_No matter, I need to talk on…_

Not before pressing another kiss to that irresistible smile, however.

***

His fluffy, black hair and his onyx eyes matched, and he was probably only slightly taller than Goro himself. He had a shy smile playing at the corner of his lips, yet exuded a dangerous atmosphere at the same time- but the green, ugly apron tied around his neck and waist made him seem more comical than serious.

Still, this feeling in Goro’s chest- he knew, without a doubt, that no matter how ridiculous the raven looked, he was already entrapped in the game of love, and so the raven could even dress up like a clown and he wouldn’t mind.

And the raven?

Well, the lazy cupid was meticulous in his work, despite being a lazy piece of shit and unethical as fuck- so he’d shot the guy as well, and the raven was overcome by the very same sensations as the brunet himself. The only difference was…that the raven had experienced falling in love more often than the brunet himself, and yet…

Yet the feeling was on an entirely different level than ever before, and he gulped, his mouth gone dry.

***

Again, Goro paused, believing Ren would interject now- but much to his wonder, the raven’s smile had disappeared, and he was scrunching his eyebrows now as if deep in thought.

_Okay. Interesting…_

***

Goro cleared his throat. Well, if he fell in love at first sight, why not give in to the feeling?

He mustered the raven once more, before walking up to the counter and clearing his throat. Up so close, he could appreciate the handsome appearance much more, and he felt absolutely enthralled by the storm in those onyx eyes, wanting nothing more than to be swept away.

Or maybe not. Maybe he’d fight the storm and bend it to his will instead- there were many options here, but of one thing, Goro was sure: he did not want to let go of this beautiful creature of a man.

As sappy and clichéd as it was- but well, he was under a spell, so could you blame him?

However, confessing his love on the spot surely wouldn’t make the raven feel attracted to him- the brunet didn’t know about the love arrows, after all, and he believed he needed to provoke the mysterious barista a little to get this whole thing rolling.

An idea was already forming in his head- but it would only work if the raven cooperated.

“I presume”, he spoke up, trying to sound as alluring as he could, “from the current state of the shop…that your coffee does not taste all that good?” He crossed his arms as if defiant, and conjured up a smirk.

The response was immediate. The mysterious barista rose his voice in protest.

“No, our coffee is great! Seriously. The owner of this place just likes to keep this thing here…a local secret, you see. We have few customers, but they’re all loyal.” The raven crossed his arms in turn as well- and sparks seemed to fly as their gazes clashed.

Goro suppressed a shiver running down his spine, and wondered what it’d be like to kiss the raven now.

“Huh. Really?” he provoked further, and a challenge glinted in the brunet’s eyes- which the barista immediately picked up on.

This was good- he was smart, and picked up things immediately. Another trait Goro appreciated.

“Yes, our coffee- or rather, my coffee…” the barista’s voice dropped suggestively as he smirked, appreciating the blush on Goro’s face, “anything made here tastes absolutely amazing. Do you wish to try yourself the magic of this place?”

Interesting- the raven was apparently showing interest in this whole love game, it seemed.

“Might as well, now that I’ve already come all the way. You seem quite confident… would you mind if I take a seat here and watch you?”

“Oh, please- I want nothing more than having your full attention, and those beautiful eyes on nothing but me.”

The brunet’s eyebrows shot up, and the raven nearly stumbled upon his own words in an attempt to make his blatant flirting less…blatant.

Not that Goro really disliked his flirting- but he was amused at how quickly the barista’s stance, competent and suave, had changed to a horny mess.

“I mean- uhm. To prove the worth of my skills, I want nothing more than to be scrutinized and observed in my every move.”

“Oh, of course.” Goro suppressed a snicker as he sat down at one of the bar stools, amused by the slight blush in the raven’s cheeks. “Then…go ahead. Try and impress me…?”

“Ren,” the barista blurted out, the blush on his face deepening, “my name…is Ren.”

“Of course.” Goro chuckled softly, charmed by the latter’s clumsiness. “Ren, hm?”

The name felt dangerous and forbidden on his lips, yet so sweet and delicious all the same-

He never wanted to stop saying it.

And judging from the spark lightning up in Ren’s eyes, he wouldn’t want Goro to stop, either.

“And…you?” the barista shyly asked, turning around and letting his gaze stray over the bag of coffee beans, searching for a specific one.

“Eager to know me, are you?” Goro was about to fall into another chuckle, yet his breath was stolen away once more as he heard the raven reply loud and clear, “Yes.”

Alright. So the game was on, then.

The brunet had difficulties to keep his eyes off of Ren, even if he wasn’t able to obscure the mysterious barista’s emotions from the view on his back.

It wouldn’t matter. Soon, he was sure, he’d have the raven all pliant and wanting under his hands, in his embrace, and by then- he’d be able to look at him as much as he wanted, pick out and analyze the every expression he drew forth onto his face…

And Goro was sure that Ren’s heart was puckering just as wildly as his own.

***

Ren was still quiet, so Goro decided to talk on- slightly impressed that the raven was keeping his promise so well.

He was also a little unnerved, however, because he didn’t know how ‘romantic’ his story was- the only romance he knew was their own, so…

***

“So…I assume you aren’t a local and stumbled here on accident, then?”

“Yes…it felt strange. Like some sort of power drawing me in here.”

“Power?”

The power of love, Goro nearly said, but was able to withhold the words to say, instead, “Yes. The power of caffeine, you see- being starved for something to keep you awake while you work yourself through a pile of papers.”

“Hm…you’re a busy man, then, from the sounds of it?” The buzzing of a machine echoed through the air as coffee beans were grinded to powder, and Goro couldn’t take his eyes off of the mysterious smirk on the raven’s face.

“I am indeed. So you better…make this time worth it.” Something like a threat bled into his words, and Goro was afraid he’d gone too far when the raven tilted his head and blew a playful kiss towards him, winking.

“Don’t worry. I plan to do…nothing but that, actually.”

Oh dear. The brunet felt himself go dizzy once more, growing impatient by the fact that their lips weren’t smashing together already, despite the undeniable attraction both of them felt.

Patience was a virtue, but this virtue- Goro did not possess.

Soon, soon, he hoped- would he be granted the feeling of a feverish kiss, even if he had to make use of a few tricks.

“I’m almost done now. And…there you go!” A brilliant smile on his lips, the attractive raven- no doubt looking attractive because of the love arrow- served Goro a steaming cup of hot coffee.

The brunet breathed in its scent, positive it would taste great.

“Go ahead, then. Don’t hold yourself back,” the raven grinned, turning around-

This was his cue.

Goro took a single sip of the scalding, delicious coffee, and let out a dramatic yelp. “Ah,” he said, almost letting the cup of coffee crash to the ground, slapping his hands in front of his mouth, drawing his eyes shut in a painful manner.

The reaction was immediate.

“Oh, no, did you burn yourself?” Ren looked worried, and immediately ran around the counter-

It was all going as planned.

Goro suppressed a smile as he shook his head, hoping his eyes would emit pain- pain of not being able to kiss those pretty lips right this instant.

“Do you…want me to check whether you’re hurt?” Oh, he was not imagining the suggestive tone Ren’s voice adapted, did he?

It didn’t matter- Goro nodded, suppressing the vicious grin and feeling all fluttery and giddy as he removed his hands, the raven’s eyes transfixed on his lips.

He drew closer, closer- so much that their breaths intermingled, and he was so close now, so close-

“You, ah…I think you’re good.”

“Really?” Goro gasped dramatically, hiccupping slightly as he fluttered his eyes at Ren.

The raven gulped, being unable to take his gaze away from the tantalizing look on Goro’s face. “…Yes…?”

“Maybe…you need to check properly?”

“Check?”

Goro nodded, ignoring the way his heart had leapt into his throat, his pulse going mad. “My lips, you see…they feel oddly hot. As if I really scalded myself.”

Boldly, he snatched the raven’s wrist- but hesitated before raising his hand up, afraid Ren might draw back and let the whole act fail.

Because surely, the act was obvious by now.

Yet the hunger in Ren’s eyes, and the breathless way he asked, “So…how do you want me to check…?” as Goro let the raven’s fingers trail over his lips- well, act or not, both of them wanted the same thing, right?

Boldly, he gathered the last of his courage and whispered, “Maybe…with something equal of what has been injured?” and they drew closer, closer, their noses bumping slightly as they did so, both unable to tear themselves away from the other-

And finally, _finally_ the raven let their lips crash together, muffling the sigh Goro let out as he kissed him with such an intensity, the brunet felt himself grow dizzy over and over again, and yet he knew- he never wanted the moment to end. Of course, he returned the kiss with as much vigor as he could, and together, they danced a dangerous game of love and lust, unable to resist the magic working between them.

When the raven drew back, well, Goro wouldn’t lie- he was severely disappointed. His face almost drew into a pout before he realized that it might be inappropriate for him to react like that, but he was overjoyed as the next, magical words left the raven’s lips.

“Well,” he said, “your lips…seem fine to me. A little… _too_ fine if you get me.”

Ren smirked, and Goro fell into a chuckle, shaking his head at the raven’s antics.

“Would you wanna…take this somewhere else?”

“Don’t people ask for a date, first and foremost?”

The raven’s hands snuck into Goro’s hair, and oh, that felt good enough on its own- but the storm in Ren’s eyes caught the brunet and shackled him to the spot, unable to move as he lost himself in the spellbinding look.

“We’ve already kissed before we even had our first proper conversation, and I feel…oddly attracted to you. If you feel the same- and I assume so, considering the little act here…Do we really need to go through the same boorish routines all those ‘normal’ people go through?”

“Hm…I’m not sure. Maybe you need to convince me some more?”

“Oh?”

The brunet’s hand grabbed the other’s hips, and Ren fell easily onto his lap, slinging his arms around his neck.

“Yes…maybe if you kiss me more feverishly than before, I’ll forget about going on a date, and give myself up to you. Besides…I still have delicious coffee waiting for me, but if your kisses provide me with a better caffeine kick than that…well, I’d gladly use you as my source of energy instead.”

The raven’s smirk grew even more impish than before.

“Alright, handsome. I told you I’d make this worth your time- and I will.”

The kiss was a curse, but oh-so-sweet at the same time. It marked the beginning of something bigger than before, something more significant- and no one would know where this story would lead to.

The end!

***

“So? How do you like my story?” Finally finished, Goro was impatient for any reaction after Ren had so diligently kept quiet, but his boyfriend didn’t say anything for a long time, his face inscrutable.

“Uhm, Ren?” Worry rose in Goro’s chest, his old pal anxiety creeping back into his bones- had he gone too far?

“You used…our story, Goro. I mean, sure, with a few tweaks here and there, but…All those…those things…the jokes…I mean, you portrayed yourself much more suave than you are, but-“

“Hey! I am suave!”

Ren chuckled, drawing his boyfriend into a soft kiss.

“Goro,” Ren whispered, his voice loaded with emotion, his eyes stealing the brunet’s breath away, greedily claiming all the oxygen to himself, “did you…are you trying to tell me you…”

The raven cut himself off, shook his head. “No, that’s…impossible.”

“What is impossible?” Something gnawed in Goro’s soul, and he wasn’t sure what Ren was getting at. Was his story that unbelievable? Was it bad?

_Oh, wait._

“Are you thinking whether I was indirectly telling you I had fallen in love with you at first sight or not?”

Ren gasped. “Yes.”

“Then no.”

“Oh?” The raven’s face fell, and Goro felt himself chuckle.

_No, you idiot._

_Love at first sight?_

“Ren. Love at first sight is the shallowest feeling of love- it means nothing. It might mean being attracted to someone because of their physical appearance- or, if we go by the little ploy you enacted here- you might have been set up by someone to feel attracted to one another. Ren, listen.”

His lover’s eyes widened as Goro cupped his cheeks, a fond smile on his lips.

“I felt a lot when I first met you- and you made me suffer through a turmoil of emotions, a storm I could not possibly begin to dissect in the slightest. And you continued making me feel that way- insufferable, unrelenting, rebellious you- love at first sight?” Goro chuckled again, shaking his head.

“No, Ren- that does not describe in the slightest what I felt for you, or continue to feel for you. I don’t know if there are words to describe all these emotions wreaking havoc inside of me everyday…”

_Every second that I look at you, that is._

He kissed his starving boyfriend- or maybe he was the one who was starved, he wasn’t sure.

“Every day…I fall in love with you all over again. Again, and again, and again- and I feel all kinds of loves. Love at first sight, hate love, rival love, pure love…filthy love,” the brunet chuckled, “sexual love, intellectual love-“

“Goro, fuck, Goro, you need to stop-“

“Love between friends, love between partners- frankly, I’m not sure why I’m babbling, I think I’m still stuck in that whole ‘storytelling’ thing.” He chuckled, pressing another kiss to Ren’s lips, silencing him effectively.

“But above all…Unconditional love, Ren. The love that makes you insane, and makes you pick your partner over and over and over again…because that’s just the effect you have on…on me.”

He saw the telltales of tears in Ren’s eyes, and he opened his mouth- yet no words spilled forth the raven’s lips, and soon, he closed his mouth again- only to open it once more, procuring nothing but silence, and finally-

Diving in for another kiss, letting all his emotions spill over and fill the brunet’s very core- or, if he went with the raven’s words again- his soul.

_If the soul never forgets, then I shall never forget the feeling of your lips upon mine._

_Or your words, your voice, your hands in mine- all of you, all of it._

_I’ll ingrain anything and everything you give me, my love._

And it seemed like the raven was eager to do that right now.

When Goro fell backwards onto the sheets, and Ren greedily reached for his lips anew- he cheekily laid a finger on the starving man’s lips, denying him the pleasure he was seeking for.

“No, Ren. You started this challenge- you have to finish it first before we go on.”

“W-what?” Ren seemed delirious, mad with whatever magic Goro had enchanted him with- and the brunet chuckled, pleased to see the effect take place.

_See, it’s like in the story- you look at me, and lose your mind, the same way I do._

_Just that here, in our reality- the only magic that’s working between us is our own love, the love we chose ourselves, and not one that was forced upon us._

_Urgh, you’d love it if I said those cheesy things, wouldn’t you?_

“The challenge,” Goro repeated, amused, “you still have to tell me _your_ story, and then we have to determine a winner- and he’s the one who decides what the prize entails, correct?”

“No, no, no, Goro, you’re being mean, you-“

“What, don’t tell me-“ Goro’s knee shot upwards, seeking a certain place-

_Oh._

“Oh, you’re-“

“Fuck, Goro, what, did you expect me to stay unmoved as stone as you begin- as you start saying all these things-“

Goro teased the raven a little more, and drew forth a desperate moan before Ren swatted his knee away, throwing him a mild glare- not that it was really a glare, and more of a plead.

“You confessed me your love in the most beautiful way I could ever imagine, and _fuck,_ you know how weak I am for that, you know, you evil, evil, evil-“

“Evil?”

“You’re just…evil!” Ren groaned as Goro kicked him one more time, and laughed as he flipped the raven onto his back.

“Darling, there will be no relief for you if you don’t fulfill your duty and continue the challenge. And you _better_ not slip up on the whole storytelling thing, because you can be sure I won’t allow you to sleep tonight if you don’t take this seriously.”

“Evil,” Ren murmured, slapping his hands onto his face before drawing them away once more, the flush more than just apparent.

“Okay. Fine. Give me a minute to gather myself…”

A sigh escaped the raven's lips...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goro sucks at story telling- but I tuned his skills up a little so you wouldn't cringe or get bored xD Now, up next is our little raven...Guess what he's gonna come up with? ;)


	3. Step 3: Confess your love in riddles and AUs...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Please take note of the updated tags (AND WARNINGS!!! Ren's story sort of got out of hand lmaooooo) and rating!  
> For anyone who doesn't know the series: in this AU (like the entire one), Ren and Akira are twins, just for context sake ;P  
> We're diving directly into Ren's narration, so buckle up!
> 
> * * *

Once upon a time, two twins had been born to see the light of the earth. It also happened that they were the first and last children their mother would give birth to, as she died of sickness not much later. However, what was most important about these children, you see…

…was that they had been born as successors to the throne; princes to a country.

With the birth of two princes instead of only one, the country fell into a frenzy. How would they determine the future king? Would this not lead to another war, two heirs battling for the throne, just as the country had finally found peace?

The current king, the father of the children, reassured the commoners and nobles with a simple explanation: whoever ended up being loved and adored for more would gain the right to become the heir as soon as he was of age.

The boys, named Akira and Ren, with Akira being the firstborn, did not understand this whole ploy as they were still young and naïve.

But even as they grew up, neither of them seemed to care much about the whispers and curious questions of who would like to be king and rule. Yet as time passed, something became more and more obvious:

Akira was adored and loved by almost everyone, with his sunny nature and charming smile. He had young women, nobles and even elder wives swooning over him left and right. No one was resistant to him and his charms, and he was close to both the common people as well as the noble fraction.

If anyone even dared to speak badly of him, they either changed their mind very quickly upon meeting him, or…

They were never heard of again.

Why? That will be explained soon.

While one of the children was radiant and blinding, the other- as expected- was the opposite.

Ren was rude and blunt. While he was meticulously trained in the rules of the court, as well as swordsmanship- he had a hard time hiding his disdain for people, or worse, insulted them on the spot as soon as they were talking bad about anyone or anything.

He tried his best and worked hard, but the art of swordsmanship remained a mystery to him, and evil tongues whispered the only good thing he had were his looks- because he resembled his brother.

***

Goro gnawed his lip. He had not interrupted his boyfriend- and he didn’t want to, either, wanted to be the opposite of Ren and show him what it’d mean to be patient and _wait-_ but he had a serious problem just sitting here and listen to Ren putting himself down, whether fictional or not.

_Well, if I can’t use words, then…_

He moved closer, settling onto Ren’s lap- who stopped talking and blinked, confused. Goro curled his arms around the raven’s waist, pressing a kiss to his lips- he lingered, letting the feeling sink into Ren’s skin, putting in any and all emotion he couldn’t- or rather, didn’t- want to put into words.

_You’re perfect for me, and no one will convince me otherwise._

_And that will never change._

“You know, you might not be saying anything, but…effectively keeping me from talking on is a sign of rebellion, isn’t it?” Ren grinned, wrapping his arms around the brunet as well, and letting their foreheads touch.

“I’m fine, babe. It’s just a story- or rather…the parts that are not- are part of the past. And I told you earlier- that this past will never matter anymore, considering where we are today.”

Gentle fingertips danced on the brunet’s cheek, and Goro let out a sigh, pressing another chaste kiss to Ren’s lips.

“If I may quote myself…This might be a fragment of the past- but that doesn’t matter anymore.”

Goro grumbled, motioning Ren to talk on- but refused to leave or shift away.

_If the story goes on the way I assume it will…then leaving any part of your body untouched will prove to be a fatal mistake._

_Just indulge in this feeling, Ren._

Ren’s eyelids fluttered shut, a shy smile appearing on his face as he drew in a breath, talking on…

***

The raven was also very quiet- at least…in the eyes of most people. He kept to himself, read books in the parlor or the library- and while he never looked down on the servants, none of them were particularly charmed by the idea of having to serve him.

He didn’t visit the gatherings they were invited to. If it truly endangered important relationships, he showed his face for a minute, before disappearing and only reappearing much later.

No one ever saw him around for long, or saw him talk to anyone- except for his brother, the only friend he had.

***

_I knew this story wasn’t going the way I’d like it to._

_Seriously, so much for keeping it romantic, Ren._

_Still…it’s not like I could get angry at you._

_But…is this how you truly felt once upon a time?_

Goro was aware that Ren didn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion of him- but Goro _also_ knew the loneliness residing in the raven’s heart. Having only one person to talk to- and have his parents shunning him as well- must have been heavy on someone who had such a kind and soft heart like Ren did.

_You fool, always acting tough like that…I know you wished, deep down, for someone else to recognize you and acknowledge you as well._

_Good thing you have me now, and a bunch of other idiots._

Goro leaned forward a little, rubbing their noses together and cutting Ren off anew.

“Hey, you, wait- Goro-“ Ren fell into laughter, happy giggles spilling forth him as Goro’s hands snuck under his shirt and tickled his naked skin- his boyfriend was actually a very ticklish guy, and just covered the fact up by diverting attention whenever someone was bound to find out.

Not like a detective wouldn’t pick up on a secret, though, so obviously Goro knew what the raven had been desperately trying to hide.

_I want you to laugh as carefree as you do now, forever- and while the past will never be forgotten, I want to be sure any and all pain is erased and gone._

When Goro felt satisfied with teasing and tickling, his hands snuck out again, and he slung them around the pretty, lonely neck in front of him- pressing one last kiss to a particular beautiful vein, and humming to let Ren know he should talk on.

“I get it, okay…no more tickle attacks though, you hear me!”

_As if you truly think I’d stick to the rules._

Nevertheless, he nodded, and let the raven talk on…

***

Right, uhm. Where were we? Ah yes, how much Ren cared for his brother.

If he had any good thing about his personality, the evil tongues said, then it was the fact that he cared for the future king enough to order murders- or commit them himself.

Because yes, it was clear to them all: Ren was not going to be the successor, never. While Akira always gently turned down the rumors, Ren was always very adamant in supporting the idea of Akira being king.

And so, the day came when their father passed of age, and Akira was soon throned the rightful leader of the country, a crown adorning his head at all times now, a new title bestowed upon him.

With a smile, Ren watched his brother take seat on the place that had awaited him for years. Ren had often inquired whether the role was too heavy a burden on his brother, but Akira seemed eager.

An old conversation sprung forth his memory as he smiled at the scenery unfolding in front of his eyes…

_“If people stop bothering us- especially you- then I am more than just happy to be king.”_

_“You know it’s not about that, Akira.” Ren’s face fell into a scowl, chiding him._

_“No, but I care for you as much as I care for the country, dear brother. So if doing this ends up making all of us happy- then no, this burden is not too heavy to be carried by my shoulders. I also have a few ideas on how to nurture our country, and bring happiness to our citizens. But most of all- you have protected me for long enough, Ren. Now let it be my turn to protect you instead.”_

_Akira smiled at his brother, recounting each and every experience in where Ren had taken the blame for him, expressing how grateful he was to have such a caring younger brother at his side…_

Well, so much about the flashback- ahem, memories.

Ren quietly watched his brother grow over time, and saw the country prosper, the citizens growing more and more happy under the kind raven’s guidance. Ren himself was happy recording the good deeds, confining himself to his chambers more often than not to bring the story onto paper.

But as happiness spread across the country, so did malice and jealousy…

Mostly towards the younger raven, that was.

Ren ignored the whispers around him, the one that wished for his death. _He is useless,_ they said, _he is sullying our king’s shine, wasting his time- he needs to be rid of!_

But Akira was quick to protect his kin as he’d promised, winning the people over and silencing their traitorous mouths.

That didn’t mean the queasy feeling Ren had while on court disappeared, however. After all, suppressing rumors and death threats was easy- but erasing people’s thoughts?

Akira wasn’t quite at deft at handling that.

But halt, this is still a story of love, of being shot by cupid’s arrow. So let’s go on…

***

_I was almost worried you were forgetting what the challenge was about._

_Well, I suppose your elaborate theme and setting only came into existence because I sort of threatened you to take this seriously…_

_Still, it did allow me to delve into your inner thoughts a little more, whether on purpose or not._

_I suppose you also deserve a little bit of a reward for that._

Goro gave Ren a kiss, attempting to steal his breath away- so he was more than just surprised when Ren gently pushed him away, a smirk on his face.

“Hey, you said to take this seriously, didn’t you? I’m not letting you distract me now, now that I finally found the words! And am beginning to dive into the real plot.”

_You’re trying to use my words against me, huh?_

_Well, you might be succeeding._

A flushed pout appeared on the brunet’s face, and his childish behavior earned him a laugh. With one last kiss pressed to the top of his nose, Ren pulled him into yet another hug, narrating on…

***

Ren was used to a lot.

But the feeling of a blade against his throat was something he hadn’t felt in a long time after giving up on the art of swordsmanship and fencing- yet the feeling of fear and anxiety never began to creep into his bones.

It was in this moment, you see- that a little cupid had accidentally shot off one of his arrows from above- but it was only one, since he quickly realized his mistake and hoped to prevent further damage. The arrow of love had been prepared for his Majesty’s honor- and his future partner.

Yet the cupid, not having seen the twins in his life before, had accidentally shot the wrong one in a hurry.

Alas, the effect was immediate- Ren would fall in love with the first person he saw- but the cupid refrained from shooting off a second arrow, opting to let the unfortunate guy suffer in agony and pain instead.

He could not undo what he had done, as far as he was informed.

And since he heard the rumors of the court- of what a person Ren seemed to be- would it be so wrong, to let him experience hurt?

The cupid quickly disappeared, and did not watch the events unfold…

***

_Is it legally allowed to kill a cupid?_

_I hated them before, anyway, but now?_

Goro’s finger angrily dug into the raven’s skin, scratching his sensitive neck- the raven gasped, falling into a laugh.

“Goro, it’s important to stay focused until we finish the story!”

The brunet’s reply was only another harsh scratch- and despite the yowl escaping the raven’s lips, Goro _definitely_ saw something lighten up in Ren’s eyes, and something stirring in Ren's pants.

_Oh, I can focus on more than just one thing, trust me…_

_I wonder if you can?_

***

Where were we again? Ah yes. The blade. Ahem.

Alright.

Ren did not feel fear in his heart as he searched the assailant’s gaze in the dark- it was an odd feeling of excitement, of… _lust,_ he realized with a startle, bubbling and simmering quietly in his bones, clouding his mind.

He didn’t really think he was into being killed, but well…apparently, he was now?

Ren grinned, unable to keep the excitement inside of him. He couldn’t discern anything in the dark, even as he tried his best to make out any shape or form of the attacker- the assassin blended into the darkness seamlessly, his face covered by a mask- but his eyes, a dangerous, beautiful red garnet, glinted savagely, sending a shiver down Ren’s spine.

So maybe he was into someone threatening and nearly killing him- was it so wrong?

“I’ll grant you the honor of a swift death- and a few last words. Speak them now, or be silent forever, future king.”

The blade dug deeper into Ren’s skin- he felt the first prickle of blood. The assassin's words were anything but sweet- but his voice, oh, _his voice-_ it made the raven shudder in ecstasy, so he was sure: even if he could not see, the man- he assumed- was beautiful beyond imagination.

 _Especially_ his wonderful, beautiful red eyes…

***

_Urgh, well, I should have expected the whole beautification of my eyes, but…an assassin?_

_Is that how you view me?_

Goro tapped against Ren’s chest, feeling the raven’s heart pucker in excitement- as if heeding to its lover’s call, wanting to show off its vigor and love, the fuel of its energy.

_Hm…_

“I’m not into knife play or anything, but remember how I once said I could be a thief, and you’d be the detective set on my heels? I imagine you’d try just about anything to catch me- like shooting me with a gun, or trying to seduce me before you end up pressing a knife to my throat.”

Skeptically, Goro rose an eyebrow, throwing Ren _a look-_ but the raven only grinned goofily.

“Hey, I’d totally fall for the seducing part, trust me.”

A snort escaped the brunet, and he nearly broke his pact of saying nothing- so he quickly began another tickle attack, motioning the raven to talk on with a nod of his head when he finally stopped eliciting forth laughter.

Of course, Ren acquiesced…

***

With a blade pressed against his throat, and the alluring voice replaying in his head, Ren nearly sighed as he pressed out the next- and possibly last- words…

“You’re beautiful.”

Yet something, even in Ren’s cloudy, with love and madness ridden mind, rung clear:

King?

Oh dear.

The assassin hissed, spat vicious words- yet Ren’s reaction was not worry for his life, but a frown. “King? I am not the-“ he halted, swallowing the rest of his sentence.

Oh no. If he let the assassin know he was the wrong one, and let him kill his brother- that would wreak havoc across the entire country. Ren could not- _would not-_ let that happen.

His hand darted out, and the assassin snarled- but you could hear his gasp when he realized that the raven pressed the blade further down his throat, touching the beautiful man’s gloves and the searing blade.

Ren only regretted the fact that he could not touch the skin of the assailant for the first- and the last time in his life.

“If my blood allows you to live on in peace- if my head, served on a platter, relieves you of your duty and protects my innocent brother - I’ll gladly surrender my life. But…”

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips- he had never felt this attraction once in his life, this unknown feeling in his chest that blinded his sight and made him feel so much lighter than before.

“I am glad to have been granted the chance…of hearing your sweet voice, and protecting the things that I love.”

With that, Ren plunged the knife in- and closed his eyes.

***

Goro was concerned.

More than just concerned, actually.

_A murder? Attempted suicide?_

Memories of a certain day flashed through his mind- memories of a day where he'd died and was reborn. He knew Ren was still struggling with what he’d seen back then- so was he really okay just…talking about- supposedly- fake deaths?

Or did the story end here?

It didn’t matter. This was steering into a territory dangerously close to the nightmares that haunted Ren from time to time- and Goro decided to break his promise just this once…

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, his eyebrows knitting together as he pressed a kiss onto Ren’s cheek, listening to the raven’s breath- and, just for good measure, took the raven’s hand and pressed it against his ribcage, where his heart was fluttering and hammering wildly, excited and worried at the same time.

“I’m…alive, you know that, right? And there will be no murder- fake or real- in our life. And I do hope…the suicide attempt was nothing that happened to you…?” Anxiety rose in him, and his stomach churned unpleasantly.

Ren’s breathing seemed normal- and his reaction was a soft smile as he tilted his head, stroked his thumb over the fabric dividing his hand from the brunet’s skin.

“No, don’t worry Goro- it’s all just fiction. And I do admit- I did get a little depressed during our…fall-out, but honestly, I didn’t attempt anything. Really! Don’t be such a worrywart. This is only a story-“

“A story you’re sort of tailoring to reality,” Goro harshly snapped back, seeing his lover’s face fall into a frown.

_Oh, shit, no, wait, I didn’t-_

_Urgh, I messed up again-_

“Ren, I was just- I’m sorry. Maybe I should have stayed quiet, urgh!” The brunet hit his head against the raven’s chest, swallowing a frustrated groan. "I was...I'm just...worried..."

“No, it’s fine, Goro. It’s not like you’re lying, and…you know how often I wake us because of that certain day. I understand your concern- but it’s okay. I’m fine. Though…if you’re that worried, would you indulge in a selfish request of mine?”

“Obviously!” The brunet’s head whipped up, his heart squeezing and aching with worry and concern.

_Never thought I would be capable of feeling so many emotions, really._

_You truly completed me._

Ren was smiling softly, a shimmer in his eyes as he whispered, “Let me just…feel your heartbeat without the clothes on?”

Oh.

“Do you want me to strip?”

“Well…yes, but also, not really- Goro!” Ren laughed, watching his boyfriend hurriedly rid himself of his shirt and flinging it away- Goro shivered as the cool air of the room hit his exposed skin and chest, but he was still filled with too much concern than to be bothered by such trivialities.

He threw Ren another frown. “So?”

“Well, if you’re this eager, ha…” Ren was still chuckling, and gently laid the brunet back down onto the bed.

Seconds later, when Ren laid down his ear onto his chest, the brunet understood.

_Oh, of course- hearing it directly hammer into your ears is probably a much better experience than anything else._

_I should probably keep that in mind._

He stroked through the messy pile of hair, letting his chest rise and fall gently, hoping he could dictate the beating of his heart to procure something like a soothing tact- though having his lover draped all over his body, even if he wasn’t really naked, well…

_This is no time for that, Goro._

_I’m well aware!_

_Urgh!_

“You know…your heart’s beating somewhat funnily.”

“Argh, don’t remind me!” Goro sounded exasperated as the raven chuckled, shaking against him.

“It’s a nice sound- a nice…tact.”

“Oh, really?” The brunet rolled his eyes.

“You act as if this isn’t bothering you at all- me lying naked on your chest, being all cuddly and intimate- but I know from the stuttering in your chest that you are _definitely_ a little riled up. It seems like your little heart here is a bit more honest than you are,” his boyfriend laughed.

Normally, Goro would have pushed Ren away by now and told him off, but there was still a lingering worry in his chest- so he refrained, and let the raven revel in the blush spreading across his face.

His arms naturally curled around the sleepy figure draped upon him, and he scratched the raven’s head, letting out a sigh.

“If you wanna stay like this- I’ll allow you just this once. But get on with the story.”

“This is sort of not the most comfortable position to take in if you wish to hold a conversation, though.”

“Urgh, your fucking assassin also only talked a little, and it still counts as a conversation- and I can assure you that I am fine with this. If you- if you’d like…to stay like this for a while…” Goro’s sentence trailed off into a murmur.

“Besides, I fucking lost my shirt and am shivering because of the cold- this is entirely your fault. So you better make up for it!”

Ren’s arms slung around him as best as they could, while his melodious laughter filled the air. “Alright, alright. I really do like…listening to the staccato of your heartbeat.”

“It’s _not_ beating like that! It’s calm and steady! And shut up and get on with the storytelling!”

More laughter echoed through the room, and Ren finally focused back on what he’d been talking about before…

***

Ren was sure, that- after plunging the knife into his throat- he’d never see the light of the earth again.

Therefore he was startled when he woke up in his bed a few hours later. Was he not dead? Did the assassin aim for his brother, merely knocking him out?

Panic and jealousy mixed in his mind and heart- and he quickly ran all the way to his brother’s room, already imagining the blood bath the assassin might have created-

But his brother was busy changing into his morning clothes, and blinked as he took in the disheveled sight of his twin. “Ren? Are you alright?”

_He’s not dead?_

“Also…why do you have a bandage around your neck?”

Only now- when the adrenaline began to leave his body- did Ren notice the weird, intrusive pressure on his neck- a bandage.

The assassin had not killed him.

He’d…nursed him back to health?

Ren did not know how to feel about this, but the initial panic in his mind was slowly losing a battle against joy and a feeling of gratitude.

Worry appeared on Akira’s face as he approached, and he carefully touched the bandage. “Did you hurt yourself? No- was there an attack?!”

“No, no, I-“ Ren tried his best to seem normal and calm, but he’d done a terrible job at hiding his emotions so far- and Akira knew him well.

“Ren, did someone aim for your life and attempted to kill you?!” Akira’s shocked exclaim echoed through the air, and the word ‘kill’ drew forth a concerned knock on the door by one of the guards.

Akira quickly waved the soldier in.

“No, brother, listen- I- um, I tried binding the cravat of my formal suit because I grew bored in the middle of the night, and had overseen the needles the seamstress had left in it. So rest assured- I was only hurt a little.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Ren! You never bother to do that sort of stuff- never!” The concern on Akira’s face grew.

“Well…”

An idea occurred to Ren- if the assassin returned in the middle of the night to kill his brother, wouldn’t it be better if they changed rooms? So the assassin would kill Ren, and not Akira once again?

And he could hear that beautiful, beautiful voice that had haunted him in his dream one more time?

The plan was set. “If you’re that worried about secret assailants, brother- we could trade places for the night. If someone is out to attack me, they’d surely look for my room, not yours. But if nothing happens- you’ll know I’m safe, and that this truly was just an embarrassing little incident.”

His brother- worried about his safety, and clearly finding the idea to be a good compromise, not listening to the concerned objection of his guard- quickly agreed, and ordered a few knights to stay and guard both of their rooms for the night.

Not like Ren would call for them if the beautiful man his heart longed for returned- but anything to soothe the anxious look on his brother’s face.

***

“More death and murder?”

“Hey, this is a really romantic story, but due to our personalities- of course it starts off a little concerning!”

“Hm.” Goro aggressively stroked the raven’s hair. “Okay…go on…I won’t interrupt…”

“Don’t be so concerned, love.” A fluttering kiss pressed against his naked skin- right over his heart- had him gasping. The sensation of the kiss lingered like an old friend, reuniting and hugging him in a soothing embrace.

“I told you I’m fine- everything is alright, really.”

Another kiss against his ribcage had him tingling with a strange feeling- he felt buzzy, restless.

“Okay,” he pressed out when Ren’s head settled back into its former position, not before his boyfriend threw him a loving glance. “Go on…”

***

In the following night- after having to roll his eyes at dark rumors spread around court, like how he tried to kill himself and failed at executing even that job- _what a good for nothing,_ they said- Ren carefully removed the bandage around his neck, and took a look at the wound in his brother’s mirror.

A thin, beautiful scar marred his previous, marble-like skin- and it was wrong, it was very wrong, but the sight pleased him- to have something from the assailant that he could remember and touch.

And if fate smiled at him, maybe he’d be granted even more?

Ren was in luck- or not, that is- because the following night, the assailant woke him once more, pressing the blade against his skin.

“The sound of your voice is a melody I’ll forever remember, and I’ll always yearn for your touch- but I won’t let you kill the king,” he murmured as the blade cut into his skin, his heart puckering wildly in arousal and fear as the assailant hissed, “You’re nothing but mad.”

Again, he did not die, and woke up with another fresh bandage around his throat.

***

“This…assassin, you see,” Ren chuckled, and Goro needed a second to realize Ren was breaking his role as a narrator, “he cared very much about…tending to the prince’s wounds. He didn’t like killing aimlessly, and he also didn’t like to hurt people- unfortunate circumstances just lead him into leading a life he never wished for.”

Ren surged upwards, pressing a feverish kiss to Goro’s lips, and his eyes glittered with mirth and fondness.

“The prince was very lucky, you see- not all assassins are as nice and caring as the garnet-eyed one was.”

“He was a fool to think he was lucky,” Goro whispered, aiming for Ren’s lips once more- but the raven chuckled, and gently pushed him downwards again, a finger against his lips.

“You said to stay focused, my love…”

_Urgh, fucker, as if you weren’t feeling my arousal stirring in my pants._

_As if you weren’t half-hard already, either._

_Hypocrite!_

_Urgh, I caused this myself- I need to be more careful about my teasing, or he’ll take revenge._

_Not like I necessarily dislike it, though…_

“Well, we sadly won’t get to hear much about the assassin’s background in my story, so I took the chance to strew in some extra information…Anyway, let’s go on…”

***

His brother, having heard or seen nothing of an assassin, returned to his room in the following night, his worries almost gone- yet he still assigned a single guard to stand watch in front of Ren’s room just to make sure he really was safe.

It warmed Ren’s heart to see his brother worry for him like that- yet the other part of his heart was busy imagining secret trysts with a certain nightly visitor clad in darkness.

This time, Ren stayed awake deliberately, reading late into the night and waiting in vain. His brother had loyal knights who swore to stand watch after hearing rumors about an assassin that Akira himself spread on court- and Ren was sure that even the guard assigned to stand watch for him had secretly left his post to protect the king.

Not that he cared, though it was notable to say that the rumors Akira had spread were supposed to find support and loyal guards for the younger prince, and not the king.

The knights, the nobles, the commoners- none of them held any feelings for the younger prince except hate and disdain, and though Ren refused to admit it- it stung a little.

He was waiting for someone specific tonight, a certain assailant that had stolen his heart away, and hoped his lonely wishes would be heard.

Again, Lady Luck smiled upon him- Ren was about to fall asleep when he saw a shadow twitch in front of his window. Excitement rushing through his body, he sneaked to the window and whispered,

“If you’re there, and you’re not here for the king…would you be interested in a talk?”

He did not see anyone.

He did not hear anyone.

But his unexplainable want for the assassin reassured him he’d seen right, and so, Ren begun to sit by the window, clattering his teeth as the cold winter breeze hit him over and over again as he talked.

“I’ll do anything to protect my brother,” he whispered, “but…I don’t know why I feel this strange attraction towards you, dear assailant. And…this may sound twisted, but I was a little jealous you came for his life, and not mine.”

The only reply he got was a harsh slap against his face by the wind.

“I wonder…I’ve never been envious of the fact that the world revolved around him, really. I like my little place- my chamber, my books and my silence. But…ever since I heard you talk for the first time…My heart has been shaking. In fear of my life, and…in lust. Anticipation and excitement- I never knew I could feel this way before!”

He laughed.

“Is it strange I feel attracted to you, you- who brings nothing but death? Ah, but…it’s strange. I don’t wish to die, or be killed by you yet- not when I have the chance to hear you talk some more, and feel the touch of your blade on my skin, if you do not wish to indulge me.”

There was still no answer to be heard, and the wind howled loudly.

“I know I’m being ridiculous,” he murmured, “but…won’t you grant me my wish, my desire? If you can escape your duty of killing the king- and I keep secret about our little midnight trysts- will you return to me, and stay by my side? I do not mean to buy you up- that is pretentious, and I have nothing to offer, really. Only myself, a bit of food and money- that is just barely enough to sate my own needs. But…”

A chuckle escaped Ren.

“If you think I’m mad…does it not make me interesting as well? Come play with me a little, beloved assassin.”

He talked on like that- with no one but the moon as his witness- until finally, finally sleep overcame him, and he crawled back into bed.

The window, however- he left open.

***

“Your little prince figure here is stupid,” Goro murmured, not giving a single fuck about keeping quiet anymore.

“Which one- the current king, or the raven?” Ren laughed.

“As if you didn’t know!”

Even the kiss pressed to his lips felt like it was bursting with laughter.

“Aw, come on…Our little prince here is pining, my sweetheart…”

Goro suppressed yet another shudder as Ren licked over his lips teasingly, an impish grin on his face…

***

Ren continued to talk to the cold, harsh air for many nights. He talked about a lot- the feelings inside his chest at court, the glares of the servants. He told the wind and the moon about how lonely he felt from time to time, not because he wanted and craved for kindness- but because his brother, in his duty as a king, continued to grow and therefore found less and less time for him.

He talked about how he wished to feel true love only once- with the mysterious man that had tried to claim his brother’s life.

Yet he also confessed once more…that he was jealous of the fact that the assassin had never come for himself.

“If I had one wish,” he whispered, “it would be that you come to see me as myself- the lonely, dirty and good-for-nothing man the world views me as. And then, only then, when you see me and judge me yourself- will I finally know whether the evil tongues speak the truth or not. Won't you teach me a little about self-worth?”

He sighed. “…I do not know who I am, but the thrill I felt when I was with you- it felt very much like me for the first time. Won’t you help me, oh beautiful assassin, to find myself, and give in to love?”

***

“Your prince is a dramatic fuck,” Goro snorted, and caused Ren to laugh in turn.

“So?! He’s in love, Goro!”

“I know, idiot,” the brunet laughed, “I just- had to get this off my chest.”

“Mhm…and that is why, exactly?”

Goro grinned as he lightly nudged Ren’s growing erection, eliciting a gasp. “Oh, I just felt like it. Do go on.”

Ren threw him a glare. “Meanie…”

***

There had been no attempt on his brother’s life again, and neither his own.

The scar on his pale neck had long but faded- it had never been very deep in the first place. Ren began to wonder about the assassin’s motives- for killing neither of them- but the wind did not provide him with any answers.

Since it was a cold, harsh winter- and people had begun to notice a mad royal talking to the wind, whispers fleeting around the court- it was only a matter of time until Ren fell ill with a cold.

Akira had visited him a few times, worried, even if it meant neglecting his duties- so Ren grew angry, and told him to stop.

Besides, the care the king showed towards his brother might have made him look even better in the servants' and royals' eyes- but did the very opposite to Ren’s reputation. _He can’t take care of himself, and even ends up bothering his brother, the king_ they whispered, among many other things- and when Akira noticed this, he started to refrain from visiting again, as much as it pained him.

Ren was assigned a maid for his care, but she did not like him, and left him as soon as possible, not even bothering to inquire about his wishes.

***

_Mhm, so let me count the number of people I need to murder…the cupid, the maid, the ‘evil tongues’ which probably means the entire court, some knights and guards, maaaaybe the king-_

“What are you thinking about, Goro?”

“Oh, nothing.” A saccharine smile on his lips, Goro tried covering up his thoughts- but of course some part of Ren knew what he was thinking about, anyway.

“You can’t go committing mass murder, babe,” he laughed, and kissed the brunet’s forehead before moving on…

***

“The only thing I feel sad about,” Ren murmured into the lonely, empty room filled with few of his belongings, “is that I cannot talk to you anymore.”

He coughed, his nose clogging up. “But well…maybe I was a fool to believe you’d see worth in the pathetic me, anyway.”

He fell into an unruly sleep that day.

And was awoken by an annoyed snarl!

“You must be quite the fool to talk to the wind every evening like that.”

Ren surged up, his heart pounding mad- this voice- it could not be real? Was this a fever? Did he succumb to death? Or- was this truly not a dream?

“Have you returned?” His gaze flickered around hopefully, searching for the source of the voice- but he spotted no one.

A play of his mind, then?

“I listened to the rumors of the court- of a delirious royal opening his window and whispering mad enchantments to kill his brother. Turns out the royal really was delirious- but he whispered only sweet nothings, and his loneliness.”

“Please,” Ren begged, the fever of the cold making him dizzy and his vision spin, “if this is not a dream…would you please show me who stole my heart, and never gave it back?”

“Your heart?” The voice scoffed. “It’s true- you are sick!”

A black shadow dropped down- from the ceiling?

Even in his fever, with the sensation of coldness and heat surging and flashing through his body repeatedly- making him go nearly insane- Ren laughed.

“Oh, you must-“ he fell backwards, the fever winning the fight against his desire “-please teach me how to hide like that.”

And then, he blacked out.

***

“Huh, this prince really is pathetic.”

“Is he?” Ren had a smug smile on his face as he saw the smitten look on Goro’s face.

“Well…maybe the assassin is…beginning to grow weak for him…But only a little!”

Ren laughed giddily, drawing Goro against his chest and kissing the very top of his head as he covered them with the blanket.

“That’s good enough, Goro…that’s good enough…”

_You hopeless fool…_

“I lied…He’s probably just as gone as the prince is…” he murmured, and Ren told him to speak up again once more because he hadn’t been able to hear what he’d said- but no…this was Goro’s secret to keep for now.

***

Ren had both a giddy smile as well as bitterness in his heart as he recovered. This had been his chance- the assassin had been there, he was sure! And yet, stupid, stupid Ren- he really was useless, wasn’t he? Not even able to keep himself awake to glimpse upon his love.

Ah, his voice- it had been so sweet, really.

Especially when he called Ren sick, haha.

“Ren?”

The raven flinched, returning back to reality- he was seated on the dinner table, the servants shooting him odd looks as the king addressed him.

“Yes, your Majesty?”

“Urgh, Ren. I told you not to call me by my title- anyway. What is the smile on your face about? Maybe…a secret lover?” Akira’s smile was good-willed, friendly, curious-

But Ren didn’t feel like divulging his secrets, so he frowned. “No…nothing of the sort. Why?”

“Well, it’s been a long time since I saw you laugh like that- so I was just-“

“Nothing is wrong, dear brother. I was just thinking of a book I read the other day.”

“Oh…okay.” Akira seemed crestfallen as he ate on, and the looks the servants shot Ren throughout the rest of the day could not be described as anything but daggers, bloody murder speaking through their eyes.

So what? He didn’t need to tell Akira everything, did he?

No, Ren thought over and over again, he did not wish to tell Akira about the assassin.

He was Ren’s secret, and if he did not wish to engage with the pathetic him- then at least Ren would reserve the right to think about him, and be the only one who knew of his existence.

Even if the following nights by the window felt more lonely than ever...

“I know you must think bad of me- must deem me…what did you say? Sick?” He laughed one particular evening, having the foresight of wrapping a blanket around himself as he sat on a chair.

“But…I really wish for nothing more than a little bit more time with you. Alone. Not as a royal, not as my brother’s copy- just me. Ren…and you, my dear assassin.”

He sighed. “The people have spread evil and nasty rumors of me cursing my brother at night- and I fear he might begin to think so as well, as I do not tell him what keeps me awake at night or causes me to smile. I fear…this might be the last night I can come to talk.”

There was still no answer, just the soft sigh of the trees as they were gently caressed by the wind.

“I am a fool, yes…this love has made me mad. But, ah- this feeling inside my bones, it’s- I want to explore it, with you and no one else. Won’t you grant my wish?”

It seemed as if the wind whispered no.

“It’s okay. I’m not angry at you…after all, I understand that I am not worth much. Goodbye, my love…”

A silent tear running down his cheek, Ren got up and shuffled towards the bed. His heart ached and wept; love was but a curse, was it not? If left unrequited, it hurt so much- it made you distracted and paranoid, and yet…

The sweet feeling bursting in his chest as he remembered the assassin’s voice washed over the pain in his chest like a sedative, and he felt like he did not regret a thing, falling into the bed with his face forwards.

He closed his eyes.

Something touched the back of his throat- something cold.

He gasped, excitement building in his chest, and the tiredness from before- it was naught but gone now.

“Is it-“

“If you move too much, I might end up killing you. I’d advise you to sit still, but let me guess: you wouldn’t _mind_ being killed by my what, beautiful hands? Oh, you yearn to touch them so much, don’t you?”

Giddy laughter spilled forth the raven’s throat, and he felt nothing but excitement.

“It’s you,” he whispered, afraid someone might hear and storm in- destroy the moment he’d been waiting for so long.

“You really are a fool, for continuing to risk your health and your reputation at court- just to speak with the trees.”

“I was-“

“Speaking to me? Pah. Surely, even you must realize I couldn’t have been there every night. You talked to yourself most of the time.”

Most of the time?

“So you heard me sometimes!” Excitement spread through the raven’s bones once more, and he would have jumped in joy if he could.

“You focus on that, and not on anger- the fact that you were neglected for so long? You royals are a mystery to me.”

The pressure of the weapon vanished- and Ren gasped.

He did not turn around, however- afraid the assassin would vanish if he dared to disrupt the moment.

“You…I do not trust you. But I am curious…what drove you to do this. Do you wish to indulge in the pleasure of bodies coming together?”

“No,” Ren protested, “I-…I want to know you.”

“That is not a smart idea.”

“Believe me when I say nothing I do is a smart idea- but you’re here. You’ve granted me a chance- have you not? Please, don’t torture me any longer- tell me what’s this about!”

“I’ve come to offer a deal.”

“That entails?” Ren felt thrilled- the voice, the sweet, sweet voice, it etched and carved itself into his very soul.

“Well…being a royal’s hired and personal assassin, with food and regular payment- it sounds very tempting. Much more than living like a rat on the streets. I don’t know why you wish to have me, but…if living with you offers me a nicer life than the one I have now, well- I won’t oppose.”

“Am I allowed to turn around? Please, I need to see you before I answer!”

“I’ve given you permission ever since I removed the blade.”

Ren had never flipped around and surged upwards faster in his life- only to spring onto his feet as he realized the assailant was somehow standing by the window, crossing his arms as if defiant.

Of course, the assassin was still clad in black- but the moonlight shimmered onto his mask, giving him an eerie and fascinating glow- he sparkled like a star on the night sky, a fallen one that had lost its way.

_He was breathtaking._

Much more beautiful than Ren had ever hoped to imagine.

“I…I must be honest. I can surely hire you as some sort of servant- and I can make use of an assassin to kill the vermin trying to hurt my brother- but…money, I have not much to spare. I have a right on the royal treasury, of course, but I’ve given up most of my share to my brother.”

The assassin clicked his tongue. “Foolish.”

Ren chuckled, ingraining every sound he was granted into his heart as he greedily took in the sight of the assailant over and over again- and he grew feverish, like a drunken man.

“…I can offer you payment, of course- but you probably won’t become rich. I’ll have to cut down on buying a few books, but…if that’s alright with you, I would be more than just happy to grant you your wish- or seal the deal, that is.”

He couldn’t discern the assassin properly, but Ren saw him raise an eyebrow. “You won’t ask for anything in return besides…what? Surely, you have ulterior motives. Every human has- so speak up now, and tell me quickly.”

“I want your presence, and your humor. And your skills, of course- I also need a personal guard, because none of the knights in the castle are even slightly interested in keeping me alive. But I’m not forcing you into this role. I just…want to spend more time with you, and you alone.”

Ren had a dreamy smile on his face as the assassin began to move, his steps not making a sound as he came closer, yet still merging with the darkness over and over again...

“I thought you’d ask for a tryst? My body?”

“What?” Horrified, Ren stepped back- he tripped, and fell onto his bed.

In less than a second, and with a leap that must have been inhumane- the assassin was upon him, and Ren's heart soared up into his throat as he felt their breaths intermingling.

Up this close, he could see the enchanting red eyes again- and while the assassin was still fully covered, Ren had an inkling they’d soon shed themselves of their clothes, enchanted and bound by the enthralling, piercing gaze stripping him down to his very soul.

“You do not…feel lust for me? I thought that was what love was all about- or the love you royals hold, at least.”

“I- I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in the least, but-“

A predatory grin appeared on the assassin’s face, and Ren nearly forgot how to breathe.

“So? Why don’t you take what you’ve been eagerly waiting for, then?”

“But-“

“Well, you’ll have to undress me first, of course- to even be able to touch my skin. And must I remind you of the fact that you should definitely question the intention of an assassin knocking at your window and asking for a job? I could kill you on the spot right now- or suffocate you later, as you get lost in the feeling of pleasure and lust.”

“Oh, I- I know, but-“

The assailant rolled his eyes. “Oh, why do I feel like I know what’s coming?”

“I want you for more than just your body, mysterious one. And while my fingers burn to rip you of your mask and shed your clothes- and there’s a part of me afraid of being killed- ah, it maddens me more not to talk to you- more than the fear of death itself.”

“Are you sure you were not born the jester at court, instead of a prince?”

Ren laughed. “Oh, no. Though I might act like one.”

“So…” The assassin gnawed his lip. “If I pledge loyalty to you- and you to me- is our deal sealed, then?”

“A bird told me to question someone’s intention before I agree.”

The assassin groaned. “Urgh, you’re insufferable. Fine. I might have…visited the window near your room a few more times than I admitted to. And heard your delirious, lonely monologues- isn’t it boring…to spend eternity the way you live now?”

“Well,” Ren countered, “the court does not offer me many interesting people, and even if it did- that does not mean these people like me back, and wish to divulge in my presence.”

“So you wish to spend the time- eternity of a man on earth- with me instead?”

Ren grinned. “If you let me?”

The assassin laughed- and what a wonderful sound it was. “You truly are madness incarnate…Ren.”

The raven surged upwards, knocking their heads together rather painfully. The assassin suppressed a curse, but Ren?

“Say it again,” he begged, a fever growing inside his chest, a fever of uncontrollable nature-

_**Love** , once more. _

And yet, so different.

“Your name?”

“Yes.”

“Ren,” the assassin snarled, before letting their lips crash together.

It felt intoxicating; Ren nearly lost his mind as he took in the feeling of those demanding, bruising lips claiming him over and over again.

“And you?” he asked breathlessly as they parted, and his hands grabbed the mask.

“What is your name, assassin?”

“I have none. You may name me as you wish.”

_“Then…Goro,” he whispered, gently tugging the mask away-_

And was swept away by the beautiful, ruby red gaze setting him aflame.

“Your name is Goro from now on, and…we belong together.”

“You are…quite dramatic,” Goro laughed, diving in for another kiss.

“So are you,” Ren smirked back, and lost himself in yet another feverish kiss pressed upon his lips…

The cupid, meanwhile, having returned to its headquarters, stumbled upon a curious rumor: if someone was hit by an arrow of love, but had no counterpart on earth- then his heart would fall in love not with the person he glimpsed upon first, but the one his soul had searched for his whole life.

Whether the rumor was true or not, the cupid could not know.

But Ren and Goro might find out, as they continue to get to know each other and dance on court- the game of love.

The end…but also, the beginning of a story.

***

_Oh._

_So this is why Ren found himself speechless when I finished._

_Huh._

_And the idiot even included a message similar to this stupid movie that started this entire challenge..._

Ren snapped his fingers in front of Goro’s face. “Hey, you still with me, love?”

The brunet blinked. “Uhm. Maybe. Maybe…not. Physically, yes.”

The raven drew him into a hug, laughing. “Hey, did you get that emotional over my story?”

Goro sighed, nestling into the embrace and pressing a few kisses onto the beautiful neck in front of him.

“What were you trying to tell me with your- no, nevermind. I don’t even need to ask- I already know.”

“You do?” Ren’s whisper was soft, cautious.

_Honestly, don’t say the words aloud once more- I might go insane if you do._

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“You essentially told me everything without saying it properly, Ren. But tell me…” Goro leaned back a little, anguish written all over his face as he stroked Ren’s face.

“Back when I left you…did you really spend the nights talking to yourself?”

An ugly snort broke free off Ren’s throat, and he sent the two of them tumbling around the bed. “No, idiot! Of course not.”

“Then-“

“I just…pondered a lot. Contemplated about…things. Watched a lot of cheesy rom-coms to get over you. I didn’t…really talk about you. Maybe that wasn’t exactly a good decision.”

_I guess the next time he has difficulties expressing his pain, I’ll force him to tell me another fairytale- and dissect it instead of upright asking him about his feelings._

_Funny how this challenge turned out, really…_

Goro surged upwards, pulling the raven into a kiss. “And yet, after all that suffering…you still thought I was worth it?”

Ren’s eyes glittered, stars dancing in his onyx eyes, lightning up the evening sky.

“Always,” he whispered, pressing butterfly kisses all over Goro’s face, “and never did I regret anything. I suppose…I only ever regret not seeking you out sooner, but…I refrained from doing so for many reasons, and you know of them. Thank you for giving me another chance, Goro.”

A searing kiss nearly burned him down to a single shred, and Goro felt stripped to his very core as Ren’s lovestruck gaze hit him with full-force.

“I will never stop…Never stop thanking you for not giving up on us- I love you, Goro. I know usually I’m the one with the elaborate, romantic speeches, but you already fulfilled that part of our conversation- so let me be the one who speaks in riddles today, as contradicting as it is.”

The adoration written plainly over his boyfriend’s face made Goro forget how to breathe.

“You never need to thank me, Ren. Or else, I’ll be forced to thank you back- for so many things.”

The two lovers fell into shared laughter, and Goro was sure the glitter in Ren’s eyes had sprung onto him, because the world sparkled whenever he caught a glimpse of the raven.

“Buuuut…” the raven suddenly drawled.

“But?”

Ren grinned. “I wasn’t finished yet, Goro.”

“Oh?” Goro giggled, knowing what his boyfriend was about to say.

“Mhm…I never got to tell you how the assassin and the prince made love…Are you interested in hearing that story before we finish our duel?”

“After all this? Oh, I’m not backing out of the challenge yet, dear. But…”

“But?” It was Ren’s turn to giggle.

“I know you’re aiming to turn this part of the story a into something a little more active- a little more…hands-on, my stupid prince.”

Ren’s smile was blinding. “Ah yes, dear assassin- I do! You’re brilliant at deducing my thoughts and mind!”

“Well, you're not hard to read, really…”

Shared laughter filled the air once more…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren is a better storyteller than Goro, actually. How did you like it? DID YOUR HEART MELT WHEN REN PUT HIS EAR OVER GORO'S CHEST TO HEAR HIS HEARTBEAT because I melted I can tell you as much QwQ  
>  ~~also yeah there's definitely smut coming up lmao what is this~~  
>  also it's like....1am I've been working on this for five hours and I gotta go sleep...I fucked around with the format a little, so tell me what you thought? 
> 
> ALSO JUST IN CASE YOU WANNA READ A MODERN AND COOL ASSASSIN!GORO AU Imma be so free and drop a link for the coolest [ ASSASSIN AU BY LAUGHINGFROWNS ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27779149/chapters/68002282) SERIOUSLY GO READ IT IT'S AMAZING but do be careful of the rating and the tags as always ;P  
> See you next time!
> 
> ALSO LMAO I JUST REALIZED THE WORD COUNT AHAHAHAHHA SO MUCH FOR KEEPING THIS a maximum of 12k...PFFFFF


	4. Step 4: Let go of your inhibitions and dive into new worlds...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drops this and nyooms the fuck out*  
> um...um. Alright. Um. So this chapter gets explicit _and_ kinky so...so beware of the tags...I have...I have no excuse XD It took me a bit to write this, so I hope this is the final evolutional stage of the fic lmao....also it's a bit more than 12k long because apparently I can't write short stuff HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> Btw: on mobile, use horizontal mode if you want to enjoy the proper spacing, lining etc ;) The format might look funny if you read it otherweise ahaha.
> 
> Also...they have, um...fun and...go through some feelings, so uh...  
> Have...fun, too?  
>  ~~just in case anyone isn't into roleplay this is not going to play out like you think it will play out hence the missing tag HAHAAHAHAH~~
> 
> * * *

“No, seriously, though…do you really feel like…doing this a little more actively? And taking responsibility for riling me up earlier?” Ren's tone was shy, and a light blush spread across his cheeks.

Goro, feigning innocence, rose his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

The raven's grin was cheeky and bashful. “Well- an assassin…and a prince? Making…love? And us...slipping into their roles?”

“Oh.” The brunet blinked. “I thought for sure you were gonna stick to the whole ‘taking it easy’ theme you set up today and say, I don’t know, ‘Oh, let’s not have sex today, let’s just cuddle each other to sleep’ or something like that…”

_You know. Sentimental bullshit._

_~~Bullshit I love you for.~~ _

Ren laughed, though he sounded a little embarrassed. “Yeah, well, I _would_ suggest that under normal circumstances- and considering the fact that you were having nightmares, this proposal might- this might seem a little inappropriate-“

“Inappropriate?” Goro clicked his tongue. “Since when do you care whether something’s appropriate or not? We stick to what we feel like doing, Ren- I thought we established this credo a long time ago?”

Ren stammered. “N-no, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it in that sense, I just, uh- I just thought-“

_As if I’d need to think twice over things involving you._

“ _What_ did you think?” the brunet hissed, pushing the raven against the duvet, a fierce look in his eyes. The raven tried not to react, but Goro saw him swallowing, his throat bobbing slightly.

_Mhm, so it looks like…I’m not the only one weak for being manhandled, huh?_

_For all the bravado you usually put up, you’re surprisingly weak for me._

Hiding a smirk, Goro let one of his fingers trace the raven’s jaw, growling on.

“Didn’t you…wait for a chance like this for so long, you mad royal? Why hesitate now?”

_Oh._

Ren’s reaction was immediate- his pupils blew wide, and his breath got caught in his throat as a new blush spread across his cheeks- and Goro didn’t even need to look downwards to check whether Ren was getting off this or not, because _he’s definitely getting off this_.

_Is it your drowsiness making you all weak and horny for me?_

_Or are you always like this?_

“U-uh…okay. Wait! Goro, gimme- uh- gimme one minute, seriously!” Ren surged upwards, a pleading look in his eyes as his hands flailed around wildly.

The brunet sighed, retreating. “Fine. What is it?”

“Okay, okay, okay…uh…what did I wanna say again…fuck, don’t make me horny like that! You know I stop being able to think when you send me flailing into _that_ kind of mood!”

The only answer Ren received was bellowing laughter.

_But that’s precisely why I did it, love._

A few more minutes passed by as Goro begun to calm down, and Ren gathered his energy for the next few words.

“Okay, look…if we’re doing this- even if it’s just gonna be some soft sex in a roleplay, though I have an inkling that it’s _not_ gonna be soft- we definitely need a safeword. And a few rules- things that…might makes us uncomfortable and we should warn the other not to do.”

“A safeword?” Goro furrowed his brows, placing a hand on his chin.

A gentle kiss followed his motion, and he held back the _sap_ on his tongue as Ren send him a loving look.

“Mhm. So we know- either of us- when to stop…”

He contemplated that. “Okay…that makes sense.”

Clearing his throat, Goro felt a bit shy upon posing the next question. “So, about these taboos you talked about…is there anything you _wouldn’t_ like me to do?”

_I hope I didn’t ever accidentally overstepped your comfort zone._

“Nope.”

_Why do I not feel surprised?_

_You’d probably say something like ‘You are my comfort zone’ or other cheesy stuff, hmpf._

_Idiot._

“Well…I can’t think of anything right now, either. So I doubt we’re gonna put a stop to this whole- what did you call it? Roleplay?” The term was new to Goro, even though he’d heard Ren hint at it from time to time.

“Yeah.”

“Well- the chances for the need of a safeword will be very low.”

“You never know, Goro-“

The brunet cut his increasingly worried looking boyfriend off with a smile. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say I wouldn’t cooperate. I’m not very creative, however, so…you may pick whatever word you wish to set as this so called 'safeword', and I'll comply.”

Ren took a moment- but when his eyes lightened up in childish wonder, Goro realized he might have done a mistake.

_Uh oh._

_Is it wrong I sort of willingly walked into this?_

“Pancakes!”

“What?!” An ugly snort escaped the brunet, and he stared incredulously at his boyfriend.

“Yeah! Today’s safeword is pancakes!” Ren pumped one of his fists into the air, whooping loudly.

_Why did I fall in love with a dork like him?_

_Right, because he’s a dork._

_Urgh, I need to resist the urge to hug him, or else he’ll grow smug._

“Fine,” Goro laughed, forging an evil counterplan in his head as he pressed a kiss to Ren’s lonely lips. “Pancakes…is the safeword, then.”

_I really need to be careful not to laugh when either of us use it, so…here’s hoping we won’t need it._

Ren tried to give him another kiss, chasing the feeling of their skin intermingling- but Goro denied him the pleasure.

Confused, the raven tilted his head.

_Hm, ah…yes, this- this could work perfectly._

_Perfectly well, actually._

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he voiced his thoughts aloud.

“You said…the assassin is clad in darkness, didn’t you? That he was- difficult to distinguish in the dimly- or rather, not at all- lit room?”

“Uh, yeah?”

The smile on Goro’s face was wicked.

“So think back, think about the setting- it’s sort of medieval. Surely, in that time and age, electrical lamps were lacking, and roleplaying- presuming from the name- is supposed to stay as close to the setting as possible.”

“Meaning…?” Ren furrowed his brows.

“Well, surely the prince has no time to light a gas lamp or anything the like, seeing as the assassin has him pinned to the bed and is about to rail on him.”

Ren chocked a laugh before he asked, “Are you suggesting to have sex with the lights off? Hm, but-“

“No,” Goro chuckled, pressing a kiss onto Ren’s chin, “no, I mean that…surely, the prince didn’t see as much in the darkness as the assassin did? Or rather, that the assassin’s sight in the dark was much better and keener.”

“Sooooo…?”

_Wish he’d just snap at me to get to the point, but it must be the sleep deprivation robbing him of his usual cunningness- I shouldn’t be too harsh on him._

_Guess I’ll have to be blunt, then._

“Ren, I’m well aware of the ‘kink exploring starter kit’ you bought the other day and hid under the bed.”

“Wha- no, no, no, listen-“ Protest rose from Ren’s mouth, the rosy blush on his cheeks gradually reddening, his hands flailing around wildly again.

Goro laughed, then let his voice drop down low- nearly purring the next words as he stroked Ren’s cheek and cutting his bad attempt at changing topics off.

“Do you know whether they included a blindfold?”

Immediately, Ren’s mouth snapped shut. For a moment, he was unable to say anything- until Goro’s impish grin brought him back to life.

“Oh…you want to…blindfold me?”

_Fuck, yes._

_If you- if you’d let me- I mean…_

Suddenly feeling shy and insecure, Goro averted his eyes, struggling not to stutter. “Only- only if you feel like it. I know we’ve never done that sort of thing before, I- nevermind, maybe I shouldn’t have-“

“Nooo! No, wait, hold on a second!” Laughing, Ren cupped Goro’s chin and forced him to make eye contact again.

What got to Goro all the time, making him shiver as he felt stripped to the bone, was the full force of power in Ren’s gaze, hitting him like a truck- the endless lust and want, these primal desires so clear next to pure, unconditional love and trust- it was a spectacle of emotions, a firework blazing up in Ren’s eyes, always crystal clear to see and read- and Goro, no matter how much time passed, was so, _so,_ weak for it.

_You said I was the one who wore my heart- my soul upon my sleeve, but…_

_But isn’t it you, rather than me?_

“If you feel like exploring kinks, do you really think I’d disagree? After all those semi-jokes and innuendos?”

Goro gnawed at his lip. “…You’ll be deprived of your sight, and-“

_And you’d have to-_

“I trust you,” Ren cut him off with such fervor, Goro nearly choked on his own spit- especially considering the intensity of Ren's gaze hadn’t lessened in the least- rather, it looked like it was increasing, attempting to burn the brunet on the spot.

Ren snatched Goro’s hand, guiding it atop of where his heart puckered lightly.

“The prince- he knows they’re connected, too, Goro. Deep down in their souls. He wouldn’t be opposed to the concept. But…if you feel nervous, we can also just- try the whole thing out a little? You can test whether you feel uncomfortable doing this, or whether you’re making _me_ uncomfortable- but I don’t really mind having you go wild on me, really.”

The raven laughed, sounding a little shy as he talked on. “Frankly, the kink package kit was a good deal, and I just felt like spending money at the time- I didn’t…actually intend to use it. Now that my unconscious, dirty wish came true, though- and I do think there’s a blindfold included- do you want to…try it out?”

With a gentle smile on his lips, and a simple touch by the raven, Goro melted into a puddle upon the next few words.

“I trust you with my life, Goro- and so does the prince. He might not know the assassin, but- he’s head over heels for him, geez- he wouldn’t mind not seeing the assassin for a little while longer. How about it? Do you feel like blindfolding me?”

“Yes…yes, if you- if you trust me-“ Something fluttered in his stomach, and he knew of the blush spreading across his cheeks, but- but to hear Ren _say_ these things felt like an otherworldly dream, and he didn't care his desires were plain to see by anyone now.

Goro wanted his boyfriend badly right now- and to be precise, he wanted a blindfolded boyfriend.

“Um-“ he swallowed a choked gasp as another kiss was pressed atop of his nose, “do…do we need anything else besides- besides the blindfold, the rules- that we apparently don’t have- and the…the safeword?”

_No, no, no- I can’t lose the ability to think before this whole thing even starts, damn it._

“Mhmm, no? Not as far as I know. I mean, this is all just about trusting your partner and trying out what you feel comfortable with, so- there isn’t a real guidebook teaching you how to go on about this.”

_\---Trust._

_Ah, fuck._

The butterflies in Goro’s stomach multiplied tenfold, a buzzy feeling spreading all across his body, especially in his fingertips- he felt like he was shocked, skinned alive-

“You’re getting goosebumps, Goro?” Ren sounded confused.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, I need to get myself together before-_

He threw a glance at his boyfriend- and felt like being plunged into a state of shock all over again.

The raven grew worried, his forehead beginning to wrinkle. “You’re- are you having second thoughts about-“

“No!”

Goro nearly yelled. “I- I just…I want to try it out. Now. Immediately.”

_I fucking want you on the spot, Ren._

_Hrgh, my skin is still tingling-_

“Oh- okay.” Gentle laughter spilled forth the raven’s lips, and he climbed off the bed- no doubt to pull out the kit.

Goro wasn’t sure he’d be able to stomach the sight of all the toys in Ren's hands right now, considering how overwhelmed he felt by the lone fact that-

_He’s giving himself up to me entirely._

_He’s gonna be at my mercy- and- and doesn’t give it a second thought, either. Doesn’t even care._

_No, he- he does care. Because…because he wants it._

**_Because he trusts me so fucking much._ **

Gone were the lingering thoughts about anxiety, nightmares and whatsoever still lurking around in his subconsciousness- all Goro was able to think about right now, as his mouth dried up, was to use his rights and make Ren reach his peak in a way he’d never felt like before.

_Oh, fuck._

Ren touched his arm, bringing him back to reality, and handed him a simple cloth- a black blindfold. “You’re still having goosebumps, Goro.”

_Because I’m fucking turned on, and you know it- or maybe you don’t- urgh, you know what? I’ll just come out and say it._

He yelled the words out, and wanted nothing more than to bury his face in one of the plush pillows as laughter echoed through the air, made him shiver as Ren’s breath gently caressed his ear.

“You know, the only thing I don’t like about this blindfolding thing…is not being able to see your adorable blush whenever you get embarrassed.”

_You’re doing all this on purpose, right?!_

_Sending me back and forth between thinking you’re tired or not-_

_Urgh, you rascal!_

A moan escaped him as Ren begun trailing kisses all over his ear. “Grant me one last chance…before I’m completely at your mercy in a few seconds…”

When Ren’s hand reached for his pants, Goro slapped it away.

“No,” he stated firmly, if a little breathless due to the hickey being sucked onto his neck, “you’re- not allowed to do that. You’re going to listen to me from now on.”

“Or else?” Ren rose a cocky eyebrow, a mischievous smile on his lips.

Goro leaped at him, throwing him against the sheets as he entrapped him. His eyes crinkled, his smile naughty as he whispered the next words into the raven’s ear.

“Or else you’ll never be allowed to know what it’s like to fuck an assassin.”

Ren was still giggling when Goro carefully begun wrapping the blindfold around him, asking over and over again whether the cloth was stuck too strongly or if it felt weird, whether Ren was panicking or-

“Stop worrying so much, love and don’t frown like that,” his boyfriend laughed, even with the blindfold depraving him of his sight, “I told you, I trust you, and I want this- but if I do feel weird or anything, you have my word I’ll tell you.”

Goro gnawed his lip, growing oddly hot at the sight of the black, silky cloth covering the raven’s eyes, his hands halting before the last step- tying a knot.

“What’s the safeword?”

“Pancakes,” Ren laughed, blindly reaching for Goro’s face and pulling him into a kiss as he surged upwards.

“Right…”

After making sure the blindfold was in place and wouldn’t go loose, Goro gently guided his boyfriend back onto the bed again, excitement fluttering in his veins, his heart rate speeding up rapidly.

“So…is it…weird? Intrusive?”

“Well, it’s definitely a little different from usual- I can’t see shit. I mean, obviously. But…”

A sly smirk tugged at the corner of the raven’s lips. “I’m trying to focus on all my other senses- and…only being able to hear your voice instead of being able to see you…It’s really sexy, somehow- it heightens the experience.”

Goro quivered, glad the raven couldn’t see-

“Did you just…shudder?”

_Oh, fuck, come on- why is he so receptive even blind?!_

“I- who knows. I don’t think I did. Why?”

The raven chuckled. “Okay, you definitely shuddered. Do you…like hearing me talk like this?”

 _Yes,_ his heart- or more like, his libido- screamed.

“N-no,” he stuttered instead-

-before realizing that…maybe, he should be a little more honest, considering the fact that Ren was currently proving his unconditional trust in him.

He exhaled.

“Okay, fine…yes.” His throat felt dry, even if his mouth watered at the mere sight beneath him, “Yes, I am…turned on. By that. By…you.” His voice sounded shaky even to himself.

Ren hummed. “I’ll try to sweet-talk you more, then-“

_Oh, with what I have in mind, you won’t be able to._

_Why were we attempting to roleplay again? This is so much more interesting now._

Goro shifted away from where he was currently sitting atop of Ren, scrambling off the bed. “I’m just going to go somewhere real quick,” he informed the raven-

-before thinking twice, again, climbing back onto the bed and pressing a kiss to Ren’s lips.

“Be…patient, okay? Don’t move. I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

He did not hear the raven mutter, “That doesn’t seem like something the assassin would say…fuck it, whatever. Let’s have some fun.”

Hurrying into the kitchen, Goro threw the refrigerator’s door open, and yanked the bottle of carbonated mineral water they occasionally stored in here out.

Actually, he was the one who stored it in there- he liked the feeling of ice cold water on his tongue after an exhausting day, because as dizzying as it was, it was also very refreshing.

Now, though?

Now, he had an entirely different idea lurking around in his head, closing the refrigerator hurriedly, and nearly stumbling over his own feet as he barged back into their bedroom.

Ren was still in the same position he’d left him in, lying on his back, sprawled on the bed, his hands drumming against the sheets underneath him.

_Fuck, you look so perfect right now, so compliant-_

_I could do whatever I wanted, and you wouldn’t know until the last moment._

Goro decided he could rid himself of his pajama pants later, feeling his hard-on press against the loose material of his trousers as he slowly climbed back onto the bed.

The usual prominent bulge of Ren’s arousal was missing, but he was definitely turned on already as well- by the end of the plan forming in Goro’s head, he’d be _begging_ for attention.

_Or maybe I’ll be the one, who knows. With this man, I never know how things will turn out._

“Are you…back?”

Goro suppressed a laugh. “Obviously, idiot- or else who else would be ruffling the sheets?”

After discarding the raven’s shirt and pants with his help, he settled down on Ren’s abdomen, careful not to let the mineral bottle touch the raven anywhere- not yet.

It was really difficult not to focus on the sight of the raven’s twitching erection, or run his hands over it.

There was no need for Ren to wear underwear in bed- actually, Goro grew to like the fact that the raven slept almost completely naked, only sporadically wearing a pajama- and after discarding him of his pants, Ren’s cock always sprung free happily.

Today, however, Goro would go about this differently.

“I don’t know- you’re the one who can still see, not me. Anyone could be here right now- I’m blind. I mean it. This thing is really thick, and I can’t- ah!”

Ren’s body jolted as the first drop of water splashed against his chest, and Goro relished in the sight of the beautiful face contorting as his boyfriend jolted up a little.

The blindfold was very thin, covering only the most crucial area- enabling the brunet to watch every single twitch and grimace.

_Oh, fuck, that’s beautiful._

_And that cry?_

_Mhmm…oh, I have another idea…_

“Was that- water?”

Goro's shirt- the one he’d discarded himself of a while ago- was now proving to be a very nice tissue. He'd picked it up earlier, before he’d climbed back into bed, and quickly wiped the raven’s chest.

Yes, they had a package of tissues on the nightstand for all sorts of purposes, but the brunet didn’t feel like using them now- they’d cause a mess, anyway, and while yes, they also kept a trash bin next to the tissues-

Goro didn’t feel like using any of that, wanting this experience to include a lot of what was _his_ and what was Ren’s.

“Mhm, what do you think it was?”

A little concerned, he added, “Was it…unpleasant?”

“Fuck, no, do whatever you feel like doing, babe. I’m completely at your mercy- go wild, really.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll scream pancakes at the top of my lunges if I need to,” Ren chuckled-

-but his laughter cut off, and turned into a hazy gasp, flinching at the feeling of the cold bottle against his navel.

“Woah, woah, woah-“ Ren’s words were lost in a few more gasps as Goro played around a little, dragging the bottle all over the raven’s upper body- pressing it a little more firmly against his nipples and licking up the emitting sounds- before his boyfriend finally grew used to the funny feeling, and begun to chuckle again.

“Right, so- wow. You like playing with me, don’t you?”

“You gave me permission.” Goro sounded obsessed, possessive.

He didn’t care.

_\---He was._

Ren laughed. “You’re like a child playing with its newfound, favorite toy- I bet it's quite a sight.”

“Hm. A shame you won’t know, huh?” Goro twirled a black lock of hair around his finger, kissing the raven’s temple, and grinning as he heard his lover sigh.

“Kinda. Well, I never realized you could use the mineral bottle in our fridge for this kind of purpose. Actually, it's sort of sexy you came up with this idea.”

_It’s rapidly getting boring due to the fact that you’re getting used to it._

_But don’t worry- there’s one more thing I want to try out._

“Anything I do is sexy in your eyes, Ren.” Goro rolled his eyes at the confirming reply, slowly shifting off the bed again- careful not to touch Ren’s erection as he informed him he’d be back again soon.

After stuffing the bottle back into the fridge, he pulled out a few ice cubs, transporting them in a glass and hurrying back again, careful not to stumble.

Once the brunet was settled, he let two of the ice cubs fall onto Ren’s nipples, greedily drinking in the sight of yet another flinch.

“Mhm…so, you finished with the whole ‘cold play’ sensations yet? What’s up next, candle wax?”

“Candle wax? No.” Goro watched, waited impatiently for the ice cubes to melt. “I’d…rather not risk hurting you. As much as sensory play seems to be-“

“Your hidden kink,” Ren threw in, giggling and nearly making the ice cubs fall- no, no, _no_ , not under Goro’s watchful gaze.

“Right. My possible...new interest. And to answer your previous question- I don’t think I’d like to involve anything that could burn you. Cold stuff like this sends you into a short state of shock, and probably has the same effect as candle wax- but doesn’t risk permanent damage of your skin.”

Ren giggled. “So you like keeping my skin the way it is?”

A predatory grin creeped onto Goro’s face. “Oh, no. I like to paint you in my colors- and for that, I need my canvas to be able to revert into its original state over and over again.”

He leaped forward- lavishly dragging his tongue over the molten ice cube and Ren’s nipple, and the pant that escaped his lover was one of the most beautiful sounds he'd ever heard in life.

 _A tape, an audio,_ he realized belatedly, _I should have recorded the sounds…_

_Next time._

The entire play got even better when Ren’s hands somehow managed to find their way into his hair- after wildly touching him over and over again in search of the silky texture- and he rewarded Ren by lightly dragging his teeth over the other, so far neglected bud. His boyfriend tugged harshly on his hair in turn, groaning and moaning as his legs kicked out wildly.

“D-don’t- don’t stop, Goro, fuck, fuck-“

The arousal stirring beneath him seemed to agree wholeheartedly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-“ Ren was reduced to an incoherent, babbling mess, whose sole vocabulary seemed to consist of few words- the most prominent one being Goro’s name, followed by the word 'Fuck'.

_Just like I wanted it, ahhh…_

Goro pressed loving kisses all over the raven’s chest, lapping his tongue out whenever he felt like it, dragging it obscenely over Ren’s navel and nipples- and drinking up every sound, every writher beneath him, still attentive about the possible use of a safeword spilling forth the raven’s lips.

But no.

All Ren did was chant his name over and over again as his erection grew harder and harder, the tugging of Goro’s hair rougher, desperate, breathy moans escaping the raven as Goro begun to sink his teeth into the sensitive skin of his neck and shoulder.

“Fuck, this is- this feels so different than- than usual- ah! Wait, wait, Goro- no, don’t actually slow down, idiot, I didn’t mean it like that-“ A chuckle broke off the raven’s throat, soon dissolving into a breathy shriek as Goro begun leaving hickeys all over his throat.

Goro stroked over the skin- _his canvas-_ lovingly, peppering Ren’s jaw with a shower of kisses before finally, _finally_ gulping up the beautiful melody of Ren’s music in a searing, hot kiss.

He nipped at the bottom lip, and after a wanton sound that he ravenously swallowed, his tongue lapped in- the dance of their tongue was familiar, a battlefield where Ren usually won the upper hand- but now, blindfolded, reduced to hearing and feeling sounds and touches?

Ren _mewled_ when Goro licked around in the hot cavern of his mouth, buckled up in a desperate attempt of seeking the friction between their bodies- yet Goro put him back in his place, did not allow him the privilege, and soon, Ren’s need for oxygen grew unbearable-

So when Goro popped off with a lewd, smacking sound, his own gasp was drowned out in a needy wail escaping the raven.

“Fuck, Goro- why are you so good at this?” Ren sounded wrecked, and they hadn’t even started yet.

_Looks like you’re going to be suffering a little today, my love._

_Seriously, though…the sounds you’re procuring today are exceptional._

“I don’t know, you tell me? Maybe it’s weeks and months of getting to know your body- or maybe I’m just talented.”

Ren tried swatting him, but his hand only hit the air uselessly. “Stop being so smug- you’re a hard worker, and learn fast. That’s why…that’s why you must be picking up on this so quickly, and so…well.”

“Hm, I wonder…was that really the right answer?” Goro tweaked one of Ren’s nipples, earning himself something akin to a sob- that turned into a roar as he pinched a little harder, hot flashes surging through his body, the sound and the expressions on Ren’s face exquisite.

The brunet felt like he was falling into a deep abyss, one that he welcomed with open arms, a smothering, crushing feeling enveloping him- and sending his libido into a state of want he'd never felt before.

“Wait, wait, wait- okay, you were right, you’re talented, you’re skilled, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry- ah!” Ren let out one last squawk before he was finally released of his pain- or pleasure?

Neither of them were sure- shared fascination and thirst clouded their minds and bodies, made them unable to think, and Goro couldn't fathom how Ren was even able to talk.

_Maybe I need to deprive him of his ability to speak._

“Mhmm…don’t spill before we get to the main part, Ren. Hold back as best as you can, okay?”

“The main part? Fuck, Goro, how long am I supposed to hold back for,” the raven groaned unashamed, his chest falling and rising erratically, his cheeks a wonderful, deep red- and Goro saw it all, ingrained the sight in his mind- caught in the embrace of want and infatuation, who were trying to deprive him of the ability to think and speak.

“Are you…okay, though?” he whispered concernedly through the haze, ignoring how he might have destroyed the mood- he needed to make sure he wasn’t overdoing this, wasn’t forcing Ren to anything.

His concern was unwarranted.

Ren gave him a shaky smile. “I- well, I never thought you could be this intense, but- shit, I’m not complaining, sweetheart. Go on…Torture me with your love a little longer.”

_Torture, huh?_

_I told you you were a hidden masochist._

Goro gave him a soft kiss, making Ren squirm under him before he drew away with a smile himself.

“Frankly,” Ren wheezed out,

_\---“I’m feeling extremely good.”_

_Fuck, don’t say that._

As his heart clenched, Goro decided he could give his boyfriend both a treat _and_ tease him further.

He pushed himself backwards, until he was pressing against the fully erect, hot cock, and grinded back a little, the friction causing a symphony of dirty moans to erupt into the room.

The brunet was also quick to shift away again, especially as Ren’s hands shot out to search for him.

“No,” he chuckled teasingly, “you’re…not allowed to use your hands until I tell you to, okay, ‘sweetheart’?”

The nickname rolled off his tongue mockingly, yet there was a hint of adoration and affection hidden in it he couldn’t hide.

Ren’s reply was a loud groan. “Gorooooooo,” he drawled, “you’re being- so- mean!”

The brunet traced over the raven’s skin, his fingertips lightly scratching whenever he felt like it- a content purr escaped him as he saw the raven trash around in an attempt not to use his hands or do anything else.

_You really are so obedient for me, aren’t you?_

“Hm…Next time, maybe I should use something to tie you up. It would make things easier for you, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t have to battle against your desires- but somehow…this sight is unexplainably arousing, and I don’t know whether seeing you all constrained would make me happy.”

_It’d be like robbing you of your freedom- and right now, you’re denying yourself the freedom willingly...for no one else but me._

_And tying you up would mean…taking your entire will…and while it has its appeals…_

_Oh._

Goro blinked, realizing something.

_My number one "Don't do this" rule...is not to have you constrained or bound to anything._

He chuckled as Ren moaned after a particular harsh scratch combined with a full-body rut- his voice rose so shamelessly loud, even their soundproof walls would have trouble keeping the melody to themselves.

“No,” Ren choked out, throwing one of his arms over his forehead, “no…no bondage.”

“Oh, are you-“

“Cuffs,” he spat out, an audacious grin on his face- and the sight, combined with these words, instantly caused all of Goro’s blood to shoot downwards- yet there was a tiny fear lingering at the back of his mind. “I want you to cuff me, and bind me to the bed like that- fuck, that sounds hot, alright.”

“But…aren’t cuffs…too reminiscent of…? I mean, I know there were no cuffs involved that day, but-“

_Fuck, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and not ruin the mood._

Goro slapped his forehead.

_I’m such an idiot!_

Cursing himself, he nearly missed the way Ren whispered, “Hey, come…come give me a kiss, babe. I can’t reach for you- so you have to…to initiate it. Come on.”

Hesitantly, Goro complied, indulging in the feeling of the sweet, intoxicating kiss before he gently drew away.

“Goro,” Ren said, all lust and mirth gone from his voice, “I won’t ever force myself to do something, okay? Remember that. And yes, I can’t deny that that certain day ingrained fear in me- but that’s not your fault- never will be. I’m not saying I justify your actions, but you were not intending to ever cause me harm- you said it yourself. That’s what’s important.”

_Why do I feel like crying?_

“Hey, where’s your face? Can I touch it?”

The brunet helped Ren find it, and nearly mewled as gentle hands cradled him, stroked over his cheeks.

“I don’t know what’s a possible trigger- what could throw me back to that day. Heck, I don’t know what causes the nightmares to appear these days. But- I would never actively suggest anything that could end up in a horrible situation- or mess both of us up.”

The shaky smile from before was much more firm now.

“Right now…I’m nervous about not being able to see you, but I can feel you, touch you- _hear_ you- all around me, calming and stirring me up like a wild wave crashing against the shore. And while it may sound contradictive…this soothes my mind so much. That we’re together. That no one will get to us, ever again. And that you can…be so unhinged.”

A thumb stroked over his lip, and Goro nearly let his mouth fall open, wanting to suck the digit in- but this wasn’t the time for that, a part of him realized.

“So- I’m really thankful you look out for me so much. Really. From the depths of my heart, I thank you for being such a considerate and careful boyfriend.”

A brilliant smile appeared on Ren’s face.

“But don’t you ever worry too much. Sure, ask me stuff as many times as you want- reassure yourself of your actions, if that makes you feel better. I don’t mind- and it won’t kill the mood in the least, even while having sex or something- trust me. Actually, everytime anything affectionate spills forth you, my heart soars up in joy.”

The raven’s voice fell into a whisper. “So long as you’re with me, nothing could make me go into a frenzy- that’s something I inherently believe in. And the same rule applies to any and all kink exploring- I doubt anything you do to me could turn me off, but in the rare case it does- I’ll tell you. So you know you can trust me, too.”

A soft chuckle escaped Ren, and he smiled again. “Alright? Give me some sort of confirmation you heard me, love.”

_Confirmation?_

Something wet dripped down onto Ren’s cheek- and he gasped. These weren’t fuzzy water drops-

Goro was crying.

His sobs turned louder, and Ren surged upwards, nearly knocking their heads together as he clumsily drew the brunet into a hug, using only mere instincts.

“Fuck, shit, did I say something wrong again? Should we break this off, should I tear the blindfold-“

“No, keep it on- please. If- if you can, at least. I…I just need a moment,” Goro sniffled, the gentle cradle only causing him to cry more, and tempted Ren into truly ripping the bandage off and calling this whole thing off.

_You love and trust me too much._

_I have no idea what on earth I’ve done in life to deserve you, but you know what- I’d do it all over again if it meant earning you- earning all this in return._

_I'm so glad you’re here with me today, that you didn’t leave me, that you keep up with my antics and adore me so unconditionally-_

Goro leaned forward, searching Ren’s ear- and while tears were still staining his face, and his voice was naught but a sigh, a few sobs still shaking his body, he breathed, “I love you.”

A twitch- one that Ren no doubt tried to suppress- surged through the raven, and with a loud whine, he begun to spill all over them, making a mess of the bedsheets as he cried out, riding out the orgasm ripping through his body violently.

Shocked, Goro wasn’t even able to stroke him through it before it was over.

“Did you just-“

“You know love confessions are my weak spot, Goro! And you knew how pent up I was, too- after all that merciless teasing. Fuck you- this was unfair,” Ren grumbled, and despite the fact that he’d just been crying- little giggles escaped the brunet now, laughter filling the air as he drew the raven into a kiss.

“Sorry,” he laughed, “I didn’t- expect you to lose composure over _that.”_ Goro was still laughing, not even making an effort to wipe up the sticky mess all over Ren’s thighs and stomach, his own pants- well, his pants would soon be discarded, anyway.

“I warned you! This isn’t- this isn’t my fault, idiot…” Ren was cursing, the blush across his cheeks telling Goro a lot more than he was supposed to know.

“Hm,” he giggled, “you came untouched- because I- because I confessed my love…You’re so silly, Ren.”

“I’m not silly!” The blush spread, and Ren’s entire face seemed to lit up like a flame.

_And like a moth drawn to light, I can't resist you._

“You’re the silly one, cumming like that,” Goro chuckled, one of his hands shooting downwards to Ren’s softening cock- and squeezing it harshly, earning himself a loud wail.

“H-hold on- Goro- Goro, wait-“

His hand drew away- sticky with cum, and he silently licked it off before leaning in towards Ren’s ear and whispering, “I just licked your cum off my hand.”

If Ren hadn’t just spilled, he’d probably be doing it all over again- his dick gave off a weak twitch, however.

Goro’s drunken giggles invaded and claimed his entire sense of hearing, and he sighed, glad that the brunet was happy again- as high as he sounded.

Funny. He was the one who’d just cummed- so why was Goro acting as if he was under the influence of riding out his high?

“You have- a real weird effect on me, Ren,” the brunet whispered, stroking over his cheek lovingly and relishing every twitch and sigh escaping his boyfriend, “and…and I never want to stop feeling this way.”

_\---“Don’t,”_

Ren chuckled back.

“I need a bit to recover, but…I definitely think I didn’t cum all the way. Though definitely a lot- fuck, your power today is through the roof, I swear.”

_My power, huh?_

_The word sounds both sweet and dangerous on your lips._

“Hm,” the brunet replied, giggling on, “well, I guess I can be kind and wait for you to recover, then. I sure am confident that I can get you all hot and needy until we’re done with what I’d originally planned- but I suppose I’ll tweak the plan up a little. I didn’t expect you to be so naughty and spend yourself before we got to the interesting part.”

Ren gave another frustrated groan. “I told you, this is _entirely_ your fault-“

“Yeah, but don’t worry…we’ll both get our share of fun now.”

Goro’s voice was sultry, and he loved seeing the tremor quaking through Ren’s body- now the raven was having goosebumps, too.

_Hah._

“You may use your hands now- though they’re under my bidding, really. I won’t allow you to do as you please.”

“Huh,” Ren huffed, “so what are my hands allowed- or rather, supposed to do, then?” His smile was demure.

“Oh, don’t worry- I’ll be sure to tell you in time.” Pushing the raven back- after one last kiss- Goro reached for the nightstand.

Specifically, its drawer, drawing forth the lube they kept in there.

He ignored the condom package for now- he wasn’t sure they’d even use it tonight. They hadn’t ever done it without a condom on before, but they both knew they were clean and had no other sexual partners- and surely, the sensory play would be heightened if Ren…had no layer of elastic between them.

_No,_ Goro mused, _I suppose…no condom for tonight._

_If he’s okay with it. I’ll inquire about it later._

_He likes hearing my voice, so I should probably stop thinking now…_

Taking the small tube into his hands- a freshly bought, new one- he pushed Ren down onto the sheets again, settling on his favorite place, his thighs enclosing Ren’s body.

“So, you like me that much you can cum on mere words of affection?”

“They’re not _affection_ , they’re about love, Goro! Don’t downplay the meaning of those words!” Ren’s cheeks puffed up as if in defiance, and he crossed his arms.

The brunet clicked his tongue, gently grabbing one of his hands, and briefly nuzzling into the touch with a kiss before his tone turned demanding again.

“Spread the palm of your hand open, love,” he chirped gleefully, electric zaps of lust flashing through his body as he opened the tube and heard Ren gasp.

“Wait, are you thinking what I think-“

His voice cut off into a muffled shriek as the liquid texture dropped onto his hand. Goro quickly spread it around, taking care of each and every finger, slickening them all up and making obscene sounds as he did so, briefly rubbing himself against Ren from time to time- and, in turn, noted with delight how madly Ren blushed and moaned, his voice rising in volume more and more.

_Lose yourself, lose yourself, lose yourself…_

“Give a guy a warning, Goro…How often do I need to ask...Urgh, fuck it, you won't listen, will you?” Ren’s toes wiggled nervously, and it was clear how worked up the raven was after only a brief period of time.

_So long as it’s me, your careful self-control eludes you, huh?_

_Well, I’ll tease you a little more, so be prepared._

Ren heard the cap of the lube spring open again, but his slicked up hand hovered awkwardly in the air- he felt Goro shift a little, heard the rustle of clothes-

-and with a startle, realized what the first obscene groan spilling forth of Goro’s lips meant.

“Ahhhh…It’s so- tight, Ren. How do you usually do this?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, babe, babe what are you doing, I swear-“

“I have a finger up- inside me- mhm-“ The brunet’s groan turned shameless, and Ren felt his blood shoot downwards- fuck, what he _wouldn’t_ give to see this right now?

“Can I- can I see-“

“No,” he was angrily cut off, “of course not. You’ll listen patiently, won’t you?”

“Fuck, don’t do this to me, Goro this is unfair, seriously unfair-“

Goro cut his lover off with a groan. “Ugh, ah, this feels so weird, Ren, it’s so different-“

“You’re killing me here, okay? Just know you’re killing me. Did you hear me, or are you just plain out ignoring me?”

The brunet grinned. “Mhm…I’m- clenching around my own finger- ah. It doesn’t- it doesn’t feel satisfying at all- hah- Ren…”

Hearing, smelling, listening- within a second, Ren’s senses kicked into overdrive, taking note of every slick sound and every moan escaping the brunet’s mouth.

“Ren,” Goro gasped, “it’s not enough…it’s weird- I need you…I want you, nothing else…”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay, look, I’d _love_ to do nothing but help you, really, lend you a hand-“

He earned himself a swat for the bad pun, and he laughed, “-but I seriously can’t see shit.”

Soon, he felt the plush skin of Goro’s soft ass underneath him- and from there, he didn’t need further guidance, taking Goro’s needy calls and pants as permission to reign freely.

Quickly, he prodded around, deliberately pressing slick lube all over his lover’s skin before he bumped against Goro’s own hand- fuck, this hadn’t been some joke?

He’d been fingering himself in front of the raven without letting him look?

For the first fucking time he’d ever touched himself like that?

_Oh, the game **is** on._

Careful, Ren prodded one of his fingers against the entrance- the familiar skin twitched slightly upon his touch, and Goro’s voice sounded even more erotic and filthy as he slowly pressed one of his digit inside- he really didn’t want to accidentally end up hurting Goro, he needed to make sure he wasn’t messing this up- but judging from the blabbering, incoherent mess the brunet was turning into, he was probably doing fine.

“Ren- Ren, do you feel it- do you feel-“

“Fuck, don’t ask me those stupid questions,” he growled, wiggling around from where his finger was deeply sheathed inside the brunet, searching for a certain place.

His only reply was a teasing laugh- of course. Goro was playing with him- putting up an act.

A play with the _finest_ acting he’d ever experienced, seriously.

“We’re both- together- inside of me, Ren,” the brunet moaned, “inside of me- ah!”

Even blind, Ren knew where he’d have to touch to turn the brunet into a gasping mess- and while he didn’t assert as much vigor in his touch as usual, the brunet collapsed onto him, his head falling forward into the crook of his neck.

That was okay- the more skin-on-skin contact between them, the better.

Careful, Ren prodded another finger in, just as the obscene gasps and heavy groans begun to subside a little, and Goro let out another high-pitched moan as Ren hit a certain place- he played around with Goro’s finger, too, but quickly realized the brunet was drawing away.

“Nothing pleases you more than my touch, huh?” His voice was a husky imitation of his usual self, and he couldn’t suppress the pleased groan spilling forth his lips as Goro’s body replied to him instead of the brunet himself, twitching and shuddering under his touch, yet willingly embracing him.

“Someone’s- ah, no, wait, Ren- nh! Someone’s- confident.”

Ren smirked. “I mean, I can’t see you- but you’re already turning into a gooey mess, melting under my touch, aren’t you?”

Mean-spirited, he hit Goro’s prostate once more, just as the brunet was about to hiss an angry reply- and the words were lost in an obscene groan, Goro scrambling for composure as the raven began to scissor in and out.

“Ah, you sound so cute, Goro- I wish I could see you.”

“That is- not. Hah- happening today. Not…until I allow- Ren!” Goro trembled against him, shivering in pleasure, the dance of their bodies working better than any aphrodisiac.

“Yes, love?”

“Stop teasing me so damn much! I thought _you_ were supposed to be a withering, shaky- hah- mhhh- mess- mess now. Not me-“

“Looks like your plan backfired. Oh, and Goro?”

“Wh-what?” The defiance was audible.

Ren smirked.

_“No one knows your body better than I do- blind or not.”_

And he hit Goro’s prostate once more as the latter tried forming a reply, failing and crying out his name as a dirty whine instead.

“And no one…knows better how to elicit forth certain reactions, except me. Right? Tell me, babe. Say it.”

“Ha! We’ll- we’ll see…”

“You’re breathing way too heavily for someone who wants to look calm and cool, honey,” Ren chuckled, and earned himself a swat.

“Your breathing- isn’t exactly- mhm- under control either, hah! And you’re ha- ahhh. Hard again, right?”

“Well, if this is leading up to where I think it’s leading up to- then that works in your favor, right?”

“Get your fucking- hand out already, so you can test out your theory, Ren”, Goro spat out, but his rebellious tone got lost in another high pitched moan as Ren hit his sensitive place one last time- impressed that the brunet had been keeping his orgasm in so well.

“I fucking- ha-hate you,” Goro wheezed out as he slowly withdrew his fingers, and Ren grinned.

“You hate me? Are we doing hate sex now?”

“Urgh, shut up already, dick.”

“Dick? Oh, I know how sweetly you beg for mine, but- don’t swat me, Goro!” Ren laughed loudly.

The brunet let out a huff, hoping to stop the merry-go-round their room had turned into.

_Right, so that plan backfired, somehow._

_Well, I just gotta try again, I guess…_

He pressed a shaky kiss onto Ren’s cheek, licking slightly over the place before he sat up on the bed again, trying to make sense out of the jumble of mess his head had turned into.

His eyes fell onto Ren’s twitching, hardening cock- it was a shame he’d already spilled earlier, but…well, at least it’d keep Goro from overflowing with cum in case things got a little intense.

He was aiming for intense, though, and he wouldn’t stop unless he could be sure he’d reached it.

“You know where the condoms are, babe. You probably still have the lube, too.”

“Mhm.” Goro quickly found the earlier discarded bottle again, spreading a generous amount of it on his hands- and quickly slapping it against Ren’s sensitive shaft, drowning in the sound his actions elicited forth.

“I told you-“ Ren wheezed, buckling up a little, “-to f-fucking…give me a warning.”

How many times had it been he said this, and hadn't meant it? The third?

“Oh?” Grinning, Goro gripped the slickening cock into his hand, spreading lube over and over it again- hoping Ren would take note of the squelching, filthy sounds it caused- and judging from the squeaks and muffled groans escaping his boyfriend, Ren must have been listening intently.

“Goro,” he wheezed, “but the condom- aren’t you-“

“We’re not using any tonight,” the brunet cut him off, his hands halting in their movement- shit, he'd forgotten to ask.

He cleared his throat before speaking up again. “Um, that is…if you- if you don’t mind…”

Ren didn’t reply immediately- and Goro backpedaled, releasing his grip, afraid he’d overstepped his boundaries now for sure. “I mean, we can- I can still try and slicken you up again when I put on the condom, it just won’t- won’t stick as well because of the lube now- I- I should have asked-“

“Are you sure?” Ren’s voice was timid- but not necessarily disapproving.

The brunet winced. “I…if you’re okay with it? I mean, we’re both- clean, so-“

“I’m not asking about that,” Ren laughed, his hands blindly searching for Goro- and settling on his hips as he finally found him.

“I’m just wondering- whether you’re gonna be okay. And whether you’d like to do this…”

“I wouldn’t be suggesting it if I didn't!”

“Really? My boyfriend is really ambitious about this whole sensory overplay- so he might take things too far.”

“Your boyfriend is very wise and smart, and he knows what he’s doing- so long…so long as you agree, that is.”

“Sure, I’m game.” While the reply was playful, Ren’s tone was impossibly soft- it felt like being embraced by the seashore after swimming back home after weeks and years.

_\---It felt wonderful._

"Alright…and remember, no using your hands or doing anything else unless I allow you to.”

“Not even to spread your cheeks apart?” Ren’s grin was cheeky.

“No,” Goro huffed, deciding to stretch the moment on a little longer.

He leaned down towards Ren’s cock, and breathed a puff of hot air against it- feeling the full-body twitch Ren suffered under as he did so, and chuckling a little.

“You know…it’s such a shame you’re already spent. I wonder what kind of sounds you’d have procured if I’d sucked you off like this…only being able to focus on the feelings, not the sight…”

“I’d- definitely have combusted, Goro,” Ren wheezed out. “Am currently…”

“No, no, I can’t allow that to happen. You can’t waste what you have left.”

Goro turned around, so he wouldn’t miss a twitch in Ren’s expression as he carefully adjusted his position, all the while Ren was laughing and telling him how awkward he'd just sounded again- yet he cut off with an audible groan as he felt his cock press up against Goro’s ass.

“Oh, fuck, shit, okay, I didn’t-“

The brunet chuckled, mean-spirited. “Don’t get too excited yet, Ren. We haven’t even gotten to the main part.”

Slowly, he began to sink down- agonizingly slow, that was, causing Ren’s moans to resound in a staccato beat-

_Like my heart, ha._

He took his time taking Ren in- moaning obscenely whenever he felt like it, procuring delicious sounds alongside his boyfriend as he greedily took in the blush, the rise and fall of his chest, the clenching of his hands into the sheets, nearly tearing them apart as he tried jostling upwards and push in _faster-_

-only to be chided, and having to suffer under even slower movements than before, with Goro purposely clenching around him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were supposed to be- be loose, Goro, what- ah-“ Ren’s head made funny motions, jostling right and left, upwards and downwards as he wheezed and gasped.

The brunet watched each and every motion with keen interest.

“Well, I used one of my own fingers, if you remember.”

The reminder caused Ren to moan louder as Goro sunk in even further.

“S-so?”

“Well, I suppose…I’m just not- hn- as skilled…as a certain- someone.”

“You’re- right, but you surprised me with a lot of hidden techniques today, and- ah!”

Goro mercilessly dropped down on him, screaming out himself as he did so- the feeling, the friction between their bodies too much, sparks of electricity shooting through them, his vision clouding and spinning until all he felt was Ren, until all he saw was the narrowed view of his lover underneath him, another quake shaking through their joined bodies- but even through the hazy cloud in his mind, he smiled in satisfaction as he took note of the incoherent babbles spilling forth of Ren’s mouth.

“Fuck, ah, Goro, what- oh fuck, am I- no, I know-“

“Mhm,” he purred, gently trailing one of his fingers against Ren’s jaw, “you’re…all the way in, Ren. Can’t you feel it? I thought you knew my body _so_ well. Surely, you’d remember what it felt like to-“

Goro drew out a little, raising himself upwards- and flushed downwards again in a single drop, drawing forth both their wails, loud enough to hear through the entire apartment, as he felt his skin give way under the intrusive force, the delicious, wonderful feeling of having his lover inside him, lighting him up like a torch from the inside out.

“To be- inside of me, Ren.”

“Mhm, shit, shit, you’re _sure_ I’m not allowed to use my hands a little, like-“

“Nope, not yet- though…” Goro took pity at the torn fabric beneath Ren’s hands, chuckling slightly as he gently moved them onto his hips- not before kissing them one last time.

“I suppose you may be allowed to hold onto me for the ride.”

Ren moaned loudly. “Are you- did- that was-“

“The pun you used ages ago?” Goro repeated his earlier motions, drawing forth a beautiful scream and a late buckle as he did so, Ren’s hands digging into his skin.

“Yes, I remember it. I remember- everything about you- hm. Tell me, Ren- what do you feel like, now? Can you hear- the filthy way our skin slaps against each other- the way it merges perfectly- how I take you in like you belong- because you do, you belong to me, me, _me_ , no one else-”

A keen moan broke free off the brunet, and he needed a moment to gather himself lest he wanted things to end far too quickly- his heart pounded wildly in his ears, his blood shooting everywhere and nowhere at the same time, he felt deprived of oxygen and air, but knowing Ren was with him, under him, compliant-

It allowed him to breathe again, yet the air tasted much sweeter on his tongue than ever before.

“How am I- how am I even supposed to talk, fuck, fuck, it’s too much, Goro, it’s-“

“No, you’re not allowed to cum again unless you tell me-“ he pressed a hasty kiss against Ren’s lips “-how it feels. How _I_ feel.”

_Even if the pearls on your forehead and the force of your hands on my skin, combined with your beautiful sounds, give me a pretty good idea already._

“I can’t, I can’t, Goro, I can’t-“ Ren was trashing against the bedsheets again, his head flying from side to side, and drool spilled forth the corner of his mouth-

_Cute._

“Oh, really? Such a shame.”

“Ngh! Goro, Goro, Goro-“

“Can you say- other things- than my name?”

“I could- I can- not now, not now- but- but would you even- want me to?” Ren was able to gather his composure for the fraction of a second- and Goro plunged down brutally again, drawing forth a symphony of sounds.

“I’m close, please, I’m so close, can I-“

Goro’s voice turned silky, soft, pleading. He knew Ren was close- was impressed he’d held back for so long- knew the telltale of Ren nearing his peak. But he needed to hear this before things begun to end…

_“Tell me first…please?”_

It was the first request he’d ever put forth during the night, an exception compared to all his demands and wants.

And of course Ren instantly acquiesced.

“It feels- amazing, I can’t breathe- in the good way, don’t frown, babe, I know you’ll frown now- I can’t see, and yet, yet you’re everywhere- under my hands, taking me inside you, talking to me- you fill up all the senses I can make use of, and I can’t see anything else, can’t focus on anything else but you, I can only hear you, feel you, smell you- and I see you, too, in my mind, everywhere- you’re everywhere- Goro, Goro, please-“

“Do you love me?”

“Of course- hah, wait- ah- of course I do!”

With a shy smile, Goro pressed a kiss onto Ren’s lips, whispering into his ear, “If you love me…you know you can always let loose with me, right?”

“Goro, wait, wait, stop, hold on, I can’t- I can’t talk and think and feel- it’s too much- it’s so good- what- what do you mean, let loose?”

“It’s what you think, Ren.” He pressed another kiss onto Ren’s lonely lips. 

_“Come on…let go already. Lose yourself inside of me...and find yourself anew.”_

It was but a sultry whisper- but finally, his lover seemed to understand.

A guttural scream echoed through the room as Ren emptied himself all over again- and Goro unconsciously clenched around him as he joined his lover’s cries- as if hoping to claim every last seed he could, demanding what little the raven had left to take it all as tremors shook them, sending thrill after thrill zapping through their bodies.

_\---And I’ll always return you everything tenfold, anything you give me---_

Ren’s breathing was erratic as he finished, and Goro gently coaxed him to calm down again, drawing him out of the electrifying shock their bodies caused joined together.

It was weird- he felt the second it happened, the second the orgasm rippled through Ren’s entire body and he spilled out- and while the feeling of cum inside the brunet was extremely new, it wasn’t…

It wasn’t intrusive.

It felt…intimate.

“Shhh, it’s over, it’s over, we’re good now-“ The brunet whispered as he started to slowly draw out- and was surprised to hear feeble protest, Ren’s voice all but wrecked.

“No- not yet…you haven’t…you haven’t hit your own climax yet, have you?”

Surprised, the brunet checked the blindfold’s knot once more, wiping away some of the sweat on Ren's forehead as he did so- but the silk hadn’t loosened, and neither had the piece of texture slipped away or shifted at all.

“How do you-“

“I know- all about you, Goro. Even…blind, I know what you look like, what you feel like, what you sound like- and I haven’t- I haven’t heard the most beautiful mewl yet, despite all the amazing sounds you’ve granted me to hear today.”

Incredulous, Goro leaned back, refraining from kissing his lover.

“You know- the exact tone of what I sound like…when I cum?”

“Of course,” Ren rasped out, a chuckle hiding somewhere in his voice. “Did you really expect me…not to?”

“I…I don’t know.”

_What is this feeling inside my chest, Ren?_

“You sound…beautiful. Always. I have an entire folder of your sounds stored inside my brain.”

“Okay, that just sounds weird.”

Something akin to a rattle resounded through the room- the sad imitation of a chuckle.

“Hold still for a second.” Goro stretched himself as best as he could, switching the night lamp off.

“So…what do I look like…when I finish, Ren?” he whispered, gently stroking over the raven’s cheeks as a dopey smile appeared on the latter’s face.

_“---Gorgeous.”_

_Of course you’d say that._

_What else did I expect?_

“Ren?”

“Hm?”

“I’m taking the blindfold off. If you’re okay with it.”

“W-what?” Confused, Ren stirred, his tight grip on Goro’s hips loosening a little. “W-why…?”

“You said I look gorgeous when I cum. I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with the sight, but…” Goro huffed a laugh.

“You behaved…well, my love.”

The brunet relished in the feeling of another shiver shaking the raven’s body. “So…good behavior…deserves a treat, right?”

“A-ah…are you sure?”

_It must hurt to talk with his voice all torn and shred apart like that._

“If you want to see me…then I don’t mind taking the cloth away and letting you enjoy the pinnacle of your hard work, hah.”

“Please.”

It was a hoarse sigh, but an audible one nevertheless.

_You were so good to me, Ren._

_Always are._

Goro smiled as his hands moved towards the knot keeping the blindfold in place- and gently unwrapped the bind, putting it aside as he waited.

Ren had the foresight to close his eyes- or maybe he’d never attempted to open them again after he'd been blindfolded.

“You…turned the lights off.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll turn them on again as soon as you feel okay- I didn’t want to risk blinding you with light after having been depraved of seeing so long.”

“Ah…makes…sense.”

“And Ren?”

“Mhm?”

“While you did deserve a treat, I still have a last order for you.”

Ren’s body shook in silent laughter. “Okay?”

“You’ll stop talking from now on- at least until I’m done. Because you really shouldn’t strain your voice any further, really.”

More silent laughter, followed by eyelids fluttering open-

_Even in the dark, your gaze shines more brightly than any star up in the sky._

Ren’s hand on his hips squeezed him briefly.

_Oh. I didn’t think of that._

“Was that an okay?”

The hands squeezed again, and Goro saw a shy smile on his lover’s face, his brilliant eyes glowing.

“Alright. Message received. You’re…allowed to do whatever you want now, by the way- except using your voice, of course.”

One of the hands squeezed his hips, while the other gently caressed his stomach before dropping down and stroking his neglected cock- gently, of course, _because what else did I expect, fuck-_

Goro both hissed and sighed into the touch as Ren’s hand begun to move in familiar, arousing motions- and slowly, he felt Ren drawing out of him. A bit of cum drippled down the brunet’s thighs as he did so, and a new shockwave zipped through his body, the feeling so unknown and ticklish-

Yet he refused to let Ren clean the cum up when he saw him reaching for the tissues.

“N-no…” he gasped, slowly sinking down again, chasing the never-ending feeling of lust and electric sparks, “n-not yet…please.”

_Not until we’re done- completely._

Ren stifled a sigh, but the grin on his face was amused.

“Are you okay…with turning the lights on, what do you think, Ren?”

The reply consisted of a particularly teasing stroke, a mean flick- and Goro gasped. “S-stop! I thought- I thought I told you I was close, I still need to-“

Milky lightning flooded the room as the raven turned the night lamp on again, the brunet too dizzy to handle it himself- and he probably needed as long as the raven to adjust to the lightning, too.

When his eyes were able to focus again, he noted with satisfaction how aroused- and wrecked- Ren looked.

“Mhm…so? Like…the sight, don’t you?” Goro mustered up a smirk as he saw the deep blush on Ren’s face, his tousled hair, his blown pupils-

Everything about the raven screamed ‘Yes’.

“Are you okay- ah!” Goro flinched as a harsh stroke, combined with a slow thrust, made him feel all kinds of sensations- the searing hot gaze of his lover being the most prominent one, the carousel the room had turned into another thing, and the white hot sparkles dancing in his vision had nothing to do with adjusting to the lightning anymore.

“Tease,” he gasped, as Ren smirked and thrusted in once more, keeping his slow, torturing speed up- it seemed like he had no intention to go fast and hard.

He built up momentum, making the brunet gasp, shudder, moan, tremble and quake in his arms as Goro desperately held his climax back, felt like never letting the moment end as Ren drew him into another kiss-

“You’re- always gorgeous to me, Goro,” Ren whispered, soft and loving and caring-

And that was all it took, apparently, because upon the next lazy thrust, the brunet wailed out his lover’s name- and the shock of the orgasm electrified him from head to toe, Ren calmly guiding him through it, pressing lingering kisses all over his body, his hand gently stroking him over and over until he was completely spent, until the last quake left him.

With a last kiss pressed against his neck, Goro all but collapsed- his fuzzy, cloudy mind wondering how on earth Ren had managed to find the energy for all this- keeping up so long and so intensely, too.

_“How,” he mumbled, to give his thoughts a bit of leeway,_

_and Ren kissed him again._

_“I always find the energy for you, love.”_

“You broke- the rule. You weren’t allowed to- talk…”

A hand stroked through his hair, and he sighed, leaning into the feeling and the warmth of an embrace, as a bone-deep lethargy overtook him, weighted him down.

_Mhm, no, no, I never- I never want to leave his embrace ever again._

“I behaved well until now- but you know I’m a rebel at heart. I can’t stick to being a good boy all the time.” Ren’s voice was scratchy and hoarse, yet he sounded so much like himself- it tickled forth a weak chuckle from the brunet.

_Okay, that’s true._

He felt the raven stir, and after he drew out, a last, lazy spark zipping up Goro’s spine- Ren moved around a lot more.

Sleepily, the brunet raised one of his eyelids- oh, but when had they fallen down on him?- and saw Ren reach for him, kissing his temple.

In a bridal carry, Ren gently cradled him to his chest, and moved towards their bathroom- even against the brunet’s protest.

“I gotta…clean us up, love. No sleep before we’ve done that, mmmkay?”

Goro wanted to object, but he was so sleepy- so tired, so happy and spent, that he didn’t have a single shred of power left in him to resist, so he let Ren go and do his work- their work, he noticed, too fatigued and exhausted to help.

“You're really worn-out, love, aren't you?" 

How Ren still had to talk and to laugh was beyond him- or maybe Goro’s sleepy mind was just filling out the gaps with things he’d normally hear, he didn’t know.

"Oh, and Goro...I also need to change the sheets. We made a mess.”

The brunet groaned, being rubbed off gently after they’d finished taking a quick shower.

“Too lazy, too tired…aren’t you, too?” He threw his arms around the raven’s neck, knocking their foreheads together as his eyelids fluttered shut again. “Do it…tomorrow.”

“Mhmm…you know what?”

“Wha…t.” Goro nuzzled against the raven, craving some of his body warmth- it was freezingly cold, and Ren was hot, so hot-

-but also _so inviting, so warm_...

“Remember how I joked…about buying another bed and spare sheets for the guest room, even if we never have guests over?”

The brunet nodded slowly, being lifted upwards again as Ren walked back to their bedroom.

“We should…definitely do that.”

“Mhmmmm, okay. But for now…let’s stop thinking- and talking- so much, and go to sleep, okay?”

“You know you’re the one who’s gonna complain about the smell tomorrow,” Ren chuckled.

After they’d found a comfortable position, huddling close for any additional warmth, Ren covered them with the blanket- and Goro pressed a last kiss onto the raven’s chest, right before he went to sleep-

Right atop of the raven's heart, feeling it pucker under his touch.

_“You belong to me,”_

he whispered, slowly dozing off.

_“And you…to me, Goro.”_

In the gentle embrace of his lover, he drifted off, falling into a peaceful, content sleep.

***

In the morning, with the seedy smell of sex lingering in the air, Goro woke again-

-and instantly remembered what they’d completely forgotten about.

“Ren,” he shook his boyfriend awake, “Ren!”

Anxiety tried creeping into his body, tried to make use of the panic surging through him- but his panic was over such a trivial matter, the morning look of his lover squashed the anxiety right under the raven’s feet- or rather, his sleepy, attentive gaze.

“Mhhm?” Ren wanted to press a kiss onto his lips as a greeting, hoping to sleep in a little while longer.

Goro wouldn’t allow him- not until the matter was cleared, once and for all.

“We never finished the challenge! I mean, we never determined- the winner!”

“Mmmmmmh…” Ren rubbed his eyes- his voice still hoarse and dry from yesterday’s screaming.

_I like knowing I made him sound like this._

_Focus, Goro!_

“And- we just…”

“Well, you had a lot of fun blindfolding me instead of…imitating an assassin, and honestly? I enjoyed it so. damn. much. Urgh. Goro, I really don’t care about the fact that we got lost in pleasure and lust, it was soooo fucking good, honestly- sex with you always blows my mind, but that? Yesterday? Shit, Goro-“

“You’re blabbering! Urgh! We need to determine a victor, don’t you get it?! But how do we even do that- I- we don’t have anyone who could judge whose story was more romantic. And yes, it _does_ matter, Ren, don’t wiggle your way out of this! Argh!”

The distress in Goro's voice amused the raven endlessly, but he pulled himself together.

“Mhmmm…well…what if we’re both the winner, in this case?”

“Huh?” Goro let out an irritated huff. “How?”

“Well…your fucking performance- get it, fucking, haha- yesterday was excellent. Seriously, I’m getting horny just thinking about it all over again-“

“That is _not_ related to the story challenge thing!”

_Though it’s very nice to hear._

“Next time, I’m gonna be in charge again, though, okay? I also wanna have the privilege of making you dissolve under my touch…Hm, what do you think you wanna try out next? Aphrodisiacs, maybe?”

“Urgh, Ren! Get it together, and don’t stray from the topic!”

A giggle escaped the raven as he lazily pressed a kiss onto Goro’s lips.

“Well…I never finished my story since we never enacted the whole ‘prince and assassin make love’ part. But you failed to notice that, too, and seduced me into completely forgetting about it.”

“Seduce-“

“Don’t even try to deny it. I mean, I’m not complaining.”

“You’re _insufferable.”_ Goro rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

“But sexy, right?”

_Damn sexy._

“No!”

Ren laughed. “I can always hear your inner thoughts, babe.”

“Well, then you _know_ my inner thoughts are demanding a fucking winner!”

“Fucking- haha, hey, don’t hit me! Urgh, okay- what about…a truce? Essentially, you might have finished your story, but…we both sort of told our lovestory through the other’s eyes, didn’t we? So…is there really a more romantic version?”

“Yes, and no. By that logic- that telling a romantic story includes the story being finished- I should be the winner.”

_And I’m pretty sure I got you hornier after confessing my love than you did._

“Hmm…you’re always a winner in my eyes, Goro- don’t bite, yikes!” Laughter resounded through the room.

“Okay, well- I still think a temporary truce makes the most sense.”

“Temporary?” Goro huffed, yet acquiescing and nuzzling into a new embrace offered to him.

“How about this? We could remember our stories for until we see everyone again, and then make them vote on which story was the more romantic one- we won’t tell them who told which story, though. And obviously…keep quiet about the entire blindfold thing, because they’d probably laugh at us.”

“Mhm…okay, that sounds fair. Until then, it shall be a truce.”

_Is it really, though?_

_After all…not once did I end up remembering those nasty memories again._

_So the true victor…would be you, Ren, for stealing my heart and mind._

_But I won’t ever give you the satisfaction of telling you that._

“So that means…we’re gonna have a new challenge soon?” There was an impish grin hidden on Ren’s face.

“New challenge?”

“What about Maid outfits, Goro?”

Ren earned himself another swat, and after few more painful bites, pulled himself together again- but his laughter never subsided.

“Okay, okay, we’ll think about this later, then. And Goro?”

“Mhm?”

“We have the day off, and while the sheets smell nasty, I wanna sleep in for a long, long time. So…maybe you should take care of changing the sheets today, since you refused to let me do it yesterday.”

_Fine._

“I’m gonna seduce you into picking up my tasks again…”

“Hey! You can’t use your powers like that, that’s evil!”

Goro grinned, searching Ren’s lips as he cupped the raven’s jawline.

“Oh, but sweetheart, what did you say again? You can’t stay a good boy for long, because there’s a fire of rebellion shivering and trembling inside of you?”

“Sort of, yeah?” He instantly felt Ren harden under him- even if it was only a little- and he suppressed his giggles.

_Why does it turn you on, knowing I remember your words, even as I mock you?_

_Or maybe it was the pet name, who knows._

“Well, we’re one and the same, aren’t we? So of course…I’m like that, too. I will shamelessly make use of my power and my will of rebellion until I’m satisfied. Or you leave me, I guess.”

As expected, the answer followed post-haste.

“I’ll _never_ leave you, Goro. Never.”

Granting him a soft kiss, Goro wanted to get lost in the feeling forever, of being gently cradled, of being cared for, of being…

Of being loved, and trusted.

“Me, neither,” he whispered, falling asleep to the sound of Ren’s heartbeat, taking note of the smile on his lover’s face before he closed his eyelids once more.

“Never…and when you fall into darkness…I shall be there for you…too…always…across time, space…the universe…I’ll rescue you…like you rescue me…always…I swear…”

“I think you’re babbling nonsense, babe…let’s go back to sleep.”

_Am I babbling?_

_No, I don’t think so._

_I think I’m being quite serious, actually._

_But I suppose…nothing soothes the feeling of a nightmare better than being with you, Ren._

_\---I love you, now and forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo the whole text alignment thing, switching between cursive lines (even outside of Goro's thoughts) and normal ones, as well as the spacing ALLLLL HAVE MEANING OKAY I worked hard for this...QwQ  
> I guess I won’t bump the rating up to E because the M tag is more important? I don't really know though, maybe I'll change it xD  
>  ~~Do you remember Ren telling Goro in Unhinged "Stain my shirt with your cum and tears" well guess that happened even if it was a little different from what he'd imagined and there was no shirt anymore LOL~~.  
>  ~~This lil snippet here is also sort of an apology to them for that ONE TIME when they'd confessed their love and swore an oath of love in chapter 59 and were interrupted by the PT's and everyone LOL hope you liked it.~~  
>  This marks the end of this lil fic (that is totally not little and short anymore omg xD) so I hope you enjoyed the ride! Lemme know what you think? ;)  
> Thanks for reading!


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